It's no secret that Val is a goody-goody. Not so much in the area of interpersonal skills, but in the OBEYS THE RULES department. Val is the kid the teacher would choose to write names on the board if she stepped out of the room. Yes. I know you hate our kind.
Anyhoo...you may recall that I've had ample opportunity to abscond with free soda and stick it to Walmart. I figure it would be just desserts for that corporation, what with all the rotten onions and potatoes I've found in my purchases after getting them home. And the damage done by their ham-fisted checkers flinging my Gourmet Lollipops in first, clanging them on the metal plate at the base of the bag carousel, and making sure to set heavy boxed items with sharp corners (such as a Chef Boyardee pizza kit) on top of my carefully selected bananas. Not to mention the loss of one jar of Alfredo Sauce due to faulty bagging techniques and substandard plastic in their bags.
Yes, I could have reaped my reparations in free soda. But I did not. I always remind the checker if she forgets to scan my soda. Which I drape on the sides of the cart like all seasoned Walmart shoppers. Friday's checker came around the end of her lair first thing. Scanned those beverages first. She's the one who always comments about the carbs and calories in my items. Not very endearing, but at least she is thorough, and bags appropriately.
Imagine my surprise, upon approaching the exit, to have a greeter accost me!
"Ma'am. May I see your receipt for the soda?"
ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME???
Of all the people she could have chosen to make an example of, she chose VAL the honest THEVICTORIAN!!!
"Sure."
I know I'm not legally obligated to show that receipt. Or so I've heard conspiracy-minded people tell on YouTube. That they just keep walking, knowing they've paid, and don't think they have to answer to a greeter. Perhaps just wanting to cause a scene and prove their righteousness. Or wait to be touched, and sue Walmart. Not this ol' Val. I watch LIVE PD. They don't have to call the cops on this bad girl.
The greeter seemed a bit disappointed that I'd paid for my soda. Maybe she was new. She was only about half the age of the regular greeters. I guess she views herself as some kind of Rambo vigilante super-greeter, fitter than the arthritic, cane-leaning greeters working to supplement their Social Security.
Really, though. I go out of my way to remind the checkers to scan my soda, and I'm the one stopped for possible soda theft. That sound you hear isn't thunder. It's The Universe, chuckling.
You were the Judy Hensler of your Grammar school? Such a rule follower, you would probably jump out of the deep end if a pimply faced teen lifeguard told you to.
ReplyDeleteYes, and yes. But I would be incensed about the pimply faced teen lifeguard, and write a scathing blog post about him!
DeleteI'm quite the rule follower myself, if only because my conscience sounds just like my mother. Possibly Walmart has noticed an increase in unchecked soda/soda snatchers and is clamping down by checking receipts.
ReplyDeleteEVERYBODY puts their soda on the cart like that. And I rarely see a greeter stop anybody for ANYTHING. They mainly just stand and say "Hello" and "Goodbye, thanks for shopping."
DeleteIt's not like I came out of the self-checking registers and didn't scan the soda. Or like I checked out, paid, then went all the way to the back wall of the store and loaded my cart with unpaid for soda.
I could understand if I had a big TV, or a bunch of unbagged groceries. But the soda is a common item on the side of the cart.
I always say, the only thing the checkers do at Costco is make sure you don't sneak out with a 48 inch TV.
DeleteA short poem for you:
ReplyDeleteOh, it's certainly a big relief
That Val Thevictorian is not a thief!!
I am always happy to inspire creativity in my readers!
DeleteVal, dahling, they can tell by looking at you that you are retired. And a penny-picker-upper. What more likely a soda thief than you in your feigned innocence. Now the greeter will no doubt remember you and this incident so what better time to swipe some soda?
ReplyDeleteI think the obvious fact that I could not outrun her might have weighed into the decision.
DeleteI shall never (knowingly) steal! Even from Walmart.