Telegraph, Telephone, Tell a Hick

On the way home from visiting The Pony, Hick likes to stop at a little hole-in-the-wall casino in Checotah, Oklahmoa. The casino doesn't have holes in the walls, but it's nothing fancy. Checotah itself doesn't have much claim to fame, except being the hometown of singer Carrie Underwood. Not that she has anything to do with the casino. Or has holes in her walls.

Hick wanted to break up the drive, and I guess he saw a sign along the road, and decided to stop. I think we've been there 3 or 4 times. They never send us any comps in the mail. The last time, we had to get a new player's card. Not that it gives us any benefits. In fact, mine was warped from baking in the console secret compartment in A-Cad, so I didn't even take it in this time. Hick wanted me to get another one, but I didn't see the point, since we don't get comps.

Anyhoo...in the past, we've done okay here. Hick was a big winner once, on a wheel (not of fortune) game. I was a big winner once, on Dancing Drums. The other times, we've lost a minimal amount. So I don't mind going there, though it's not a favorite.

Hick had originally said we'd bypass this little casino this time, because we were a couple hours behind our usual schedule. But then he made the turnoff anyway. Who was I to argue?

Val the high roller entered that little casino (Creek Nation) with $100 in her pocket. I don't know how much Hick had in his. Hick couldn't find his favorite Chili Chili Fire machine, the casino having had the nerve to update their slots. Believe me, if it was just a matter of changing the floor plan, Hick would have found it. The place isn't that big.

Anyhoo...Hick sat down at one of my Dancing Drums, and I at the other. Right off, I won $60, and cashed it out. I went looking for something else to play, but since there were about 3 secruity guards for every player, I did not feel comfortably browsing around the games that interested me in the red-screen area. No need to run a gauntlet of gossiping casino officers to get to the no-armed bandits. I went back to the Dancing Drums, which promptly ate my windfall back to my beginning bankroll.

I lost track of Hick, and went into the front room, where I saw nothing appealing. There was a machine I'd never seen, with columns of money in various denominations. It was a penny machine, minimum bet 33 cents. That's what I played. It was fun enough, giving me bonuses that I'd never seen. In fact, I played the rest of my time on that machine. With only two minutes left until meeting Hick, I upped my bet to $1 (!) and hit a bonus. It played out, and you're not gonna believe this, but I cashed out, and the total I left that hole-in-the-wall casino with was $99. That's right. I had played for 40 minutes, and lost $1. That's close enough to a win for Val!

Anyhoo...here's the point of the story, now that you've slogged through all those superfluous details.

As we went out the door, Hick held it open for a lady behind us. She was perhaps late 30s/early40s. Younger than me, that's all I notice any more. Hick was being his jovial self.

"There she goes, the winner!"

I didn't hear the lady say anything. I don't know if she smiled or acknowledged Hick, because she was behind me as he held the door open.

"She won SEVENTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS! I was playing right next to her."

It was a cringeworthy moment. The lady went on around us (I was movin' mighty slow) and strode toward her car, which was parked right next to A-Cad. She had her head tucked down, walking briskly.

Now let me just say, as a woman alone at a hole-in-the-wall casino, even at 1:00 on a Thursday afternoon in broad daylight...I would NOT want somebody broadcasting at the top of his lungs that I'd won seventeen hundred dollars. You might as well be waving those hundred dollar bills over your head, hootin' and hollerin' to attract attention to yourself.

Shame on Hick. What happens in the casino stays in the casino.