I fear that Hick has been alienating Even Steven's affection for me! Judge for yourself.
On the way home from Oklahoma, we stopped at a rest area between Springfield and Rolla. When I came out of the...um...resting area...I saw Hick standing in front of a vending machine. He was getting a bottle of Diet Coke. I saw him put in his money and push the button. I heard the bottle thump as it fell. Yet when Hick reached into the trough for his soda, nothing was there!
"Huh!" said Hick.
"I guess it got stuck up inside. Or landed on one that was already stuck up inside."
Hick raised his arms and put his palms on the machine and started rocking it. Then some people came in, and I told him to stop. Witnesses! Besides, if Hick turned it over on himself, I didn't want to drive home from there.
"Well, crap! I want my soda! I paid two dollars for it!"
"You might as well get something out of the Pepsi machine. Because if you put more money in the Coke machine, the next bottle will probably be blocked by the one that's stuck."
"Yeah. Or else the next person will get TWO!"
Hick moved to the other machine and got a Diet Pepsi without incident. Then he went to the snack machine, put in his money, and pushed the numbers for a Milky Way. The spiral thingy turned until the Milky Way was poised on the edge...THEN STOPPED!
Hick was about to have a conniption. He started rocking THAT machine.
"Don't! Rocking it won't make the spiral turn--"
Just then, the spiral started turning again. And kept turning. Hick's Milky Way fell out, and the one behind it, too!"
"I guess that makes up for your soda."
Yes, either Even Steven is now sweet on Hick, or Even Steven is killing him softly (and deliciously) with an overdose of sugar, and a dearth of sugar-free beverages.
So now they are making vending machines like slot machines? Do they have dancing soda bottles that give you 6 free tries at a soda?
ReplyDeleteDancing bottles of carbonated soda? Imagine the spray when you opened one!!
DeleteNo free tries, but like a slot machine because you put your money in, and can't guarantee getting anything out of it!
DeleteThat Hick. He's my kinda guy.
ReplyDeleteHick is everyman. Liked by all, yet able to annoy women without even trying.
DeleteI happen to think those twisty things are made on purpose to stop turning just before your snack falls out, probably about one or two in every hundred turns. And the drinks machines too, maybe. Or maybe the cans just got stacked a little off centre or whatever so they fell crooked. at least hick didn't stick his arm in trying to get his diet coke and get stuck there. I've seen that happen on the TV news and they have to open the machine or cut it open to get the person freed.
ReplyDeleteWhen I worked in the city at the unemployment office, our nighttime cleaning crew got busted for reaching up inside the soda machine and taking free cans of soda. I guess they had really skinny arms!
DeleteI can visualize Hick's frustration, then jubilation. You can sure spin a yarn.
ReplyDeleteHe was thrilled to get TWO Milky Ways, until I told him he couldn't eat them both at once. He also reminded me that he was still down by about 65 cents, with the price difference in candy and soda.
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