"Shot Hurts" by Valareth

Shot hurts, 
Shot scars, 
Shot wounds, those liars!
A knee's not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Shot is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain
Shot hurts,
Ooo-oo shot hurts

I'm old,
I know,
But even so
I know a thing or two, I learned from flu
I really learned a lot, about that flu shot
Shot will make you lame. Your knee burns when it's hot
Shot hurts,
Ooo-oo shot hurts

For those of you on the edge of your seat waiting to hear the status of Val's sudden-onset case of FluShotKneePainItis...here is an update.

As you may recall, Val and The Pony obtained a flu shot on the evening of October 9 at NearMax, our local pharmacy. Within three hours, Val was crippled-up with a swollen left knee and pain so severe that she wanted to disgorge her evening meal while watching a DVR of The Amazing Race. All weekend, she needed a cane to navigate her way around the homestead. Her sweet baboo had to do the weekly shopping.

Monday, Val swore she would not use that cane to get around on the job. She did, however, instruct The Pony to put it in T-Hoe just in case. Monday night was a terrible torturous evening, sleep was nearly non-existent, the cane was in play until work again the next morning, and Val began to rethink saving those sick days with her noble effort to educate her pupils. Lots of ice and heat, propping all evening, and caning to and fro seemed to put a dent in the agony of the left knee. However...pain moved to the right knee. Though not as severe, and most likely due to overuse.

By Thursday, the left knee was not as swollen. It still locked up due to excess fluid in the joint, but it did not slosh when Val hobbled up and down the hall. Thursday night, when Val removed her black crew sock prior to slipping into something more comfortable for bed, she saw it.

THE TOENAIL OF HER LEFT GREAT TOE WAS ALMOST COMPLETELY PURPLE!

Let the record show that Val had been wearing her oldest New Balance during her knee injury. They made her feel more stable than the newer New Balance. The old NB kind of irritated her left great toe. Probably because the knee was swollen, the leg was swollen, the ankle was swollen, and it would follow that the shoe fit tighter than normal because the foot was swollen. True, the great toe had been sore after a Monday of morning and afternoon duty all the way down in the parking lot.

Val was up a couple of times Thursday night to use the facilities, still using the cane, thankfully with a rubber stopper on the end and not a shaved point with black electrician's tape wrapped around it. Each time she sat down on the throne and contemplated her great toe, the purple area had receded a bit. Kind of like it was setting to the southwest corner. Friday morning, Val slathered a bit of triple antibiotic ointment on the corner of that great toe before putting on her black crew sock. Just in case the jamming against the end of the shoe might cause a blister. Only a sliver, a virtual crescent moon of bruise, was left. Val considered this a true sign of being on the mend.

Friday night, as Val removed her black crew socks at bedtime, she observed with horror that the bruise was back! Dark purple! Almost black! In two spots on the left side of her great toenail! They were blooming. Getting larger, Val feared. Such a relapse, after so much hope. She went to bed in despair. Two hours later, she was up to use the facilities.

Val leaned over from the throne. Was it shrinking? No. She leaned more. Touched the bruised area to see if it hurt.

AND THE BRUISES CAME OFF ON VAL'S FINGER!

It was two pieces of lint from her black crew socks. The toenail was clear of bruising except for that tiny sliver at the bottom.

A miraculous recovery!

As of Sunday, the FluShotKneePainItis continues to slowly improve. Val is rethinking that shot for next year, when she will not be exposed to the breath, snot, and saliva of 100 pupils in her classroom, and countless thoughtless hall-passers between classes.