However…we are now
three weeks deep in second quarter. All work and no play and the same sandwich
every day makes Val a dull gal. I decided to make a change this week. Same
snack, different sandwich. The same Halloween mini pack of pretzels, but with
leftovers from the weekend roast. I chopped up that chuck and mixed in some
mayo. None of that Miracle Whip for Val. My mom used that stuff. I brought my
own mayo to her dinners. Mom also used a meat grinder suctioned to the kitchen counter
to grind her leftover chuck roast. Alas, we must have put that in the auction
box. So I simply chopped mine into cubes. Anyhoo…I formulated this plan Saturday,
and Sunday I picked up some ciabatta bread.
I was so excited about this
new foray into the world of broughten school lunches that I thought about it
all night. Mmm…roast beef with mayo on ciabatta. I had stopped myself from
adding chopped dill pickles. That would make my concoction runny over the four
days I planned to eat it. But maybe I would take a dill pickle on the side!
Mmm…roast beef with mayo on ciabatta.
This morning I got up
and hustled to the kitchen. Time to make my sandwich. Mmm…roast beef with mayo
on ciabatta. I reached into the corner cabinet for the ciabatta. Took out one
of the six rolls and put it on a plate to split open and fill with filling.
Mmm…roast beef with mayo on ciabatta.
WHAT THE NOT-HEAVEN!
My ciabatta had a spot
of mold! MOLD!
That couldn’t be. I
just bought them yesterday. Food is always good a few days past the expiration
date. And these ciabatta rolls said 10-26-15. That’s TODAY! All three bags were
the same when I looked on the bakery shelf at Walmart. Though they DID have a
suspicious strike-out under the date, in Sharpie. Walmart is trying to kill me.
Or at least make me mildly ill.
I tossed that bun in
the wastebasket and inspected another. Sandwich was made.
If you don’t hear from
me again, let the record show that this was probably a bad idea.
That bread mold may cure any infections in your flushotknee.
ReplyDeleteNew disease, new cure! I'll put you down as a volunteer in my drug trials. Of course you'll have to get a flu shot first so you will have something I can cure.
DeleteOh, don't be such a wuss. That little green spot was your "vegetable" serving. If you had added ketchup, and used that moldy roll, you would have had two servings of vegetables.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I don't WANT two servings of vegetables! This is NOT a towering bowl of soup, you know. It's a sandwich. When the Earl of Two Vegetables comes up with a handy meal to eat while playing cards, then I might listen to your advice, Madam.
DeletePenicillin comes from mold so now you're probably immune to lots of bacteria.
ReplyDeleteOkay. I'll add "bacteria" to my list of
Deletegood times
wealth
an uninterrupted night's sleep
considerate household menfolk
people who leave me alone in waiting rooms
punctually-arriving mail (Aw Not-Heaven! Make that ARRIVING mail.)
I ate half a piece of toast before I asked myself how the toast turned green. I'm hear to tell you...
ReplyDeleteNow you have given me an idea for a novelty item: a loaf of bread that turns green in the toaster. I'll make it with the shelf-life of Twinkies, and sell it between the soap that turns your hands black, and a pile of fake poo.
DeleteI say anything fuzzy and/or blue (blueberries are purple) is hands down inedible.
ReplyDeleteMore peaches and snow cones for me!
DeleteI peel my peaches and my kiwis--thanyouverymuch--and blue snow cones are inedible.So glad to let you enjoy them.
DeleteWe'll be like the J. Sprat family, and lick the platter clean of fuzzy and blue foods!
DeleteI once had a friend in Mexico who wouldn't touch my favorite restaurant Oaxacan molé because it was black. In her best Arkansas accent, she would snap "I don't eat black food!"
ReplyDeleteI'm embarrassed for her!
Delete