On weekday mornings, Thevictorian household operates like a finely-oiled machine. Not a highly-technical machine, with a multitude of moving parts, such as might bottle Diet Coke, or package Little Debbie Swiss Rolls. More of a simple machine. A guillotine, perhaps. Or a screwdriver.
Val gets up at 5:00. Showers. Takes a chair nap. Hick gets up at 5:30. Showers. Leaves for work at 6:00. The Pony gets up at 6:00. Plays computer games. We leave at 6:45.
This morning as I got out of bed at 5:00, Hick turned off the alarm and said, "Wake me when you leave. I have a doctor's appointment."
I vaguely remembered that Hick had mentioned his appointment. I have one on Friday. But I still have to drive The Pony to school. So, even thought I could have slept in another 30 minutes if Hick had mentioned this last night, and set the alarm later, I followed his instructions. I closed the bedroom door. Took my chair nap. Hollered to The Pony to get up at 6:00. Wait a minute! What's this? Hick stuck his head out the bedroom door.
"Don't worry about waking me. I set the alarm for later."
Okay. Nice of him to do that for himself. Meanwhile, The Pony was dragging his hooves. I waited until 6:10, when I put the lunches in the bags and get my second round of medicine and my mini sausage biscuits.
"PONY! You need to get up!" He mumbled that he knew. Made a trip to the bathroom, the kitchen, and the long living room couch to plug in his phone. "Do you need slacks tomorrow? When you go to that health fair? Remember, I go to the doctor, so I won't be at school if you forget money for lunch. Let's make sure to lay that out in the morning so you don't forget."
"Wait. You go to the doctor tomorrow? I was not told this."
"Yes you were. I have been talking about it all week. Even last night, I said, "Tomorrow will be my Friday, because it's my last day of work this week."
"Oh, yeah."
He headed downstairs for his gaming before getting dressed. I sat down at my Shiba with breakfast and meds. By now it was 6:20.
THE DOOR TO THE BEDROOM FLUNG OPEN!
"I don't go to the doctor today! I go tomorrow! I heard you guys talking, and I thought, 'My doctor don't work on Thursdays! She works on FRIDAYS!' So I got up and checked my phone, and saw that the appointment is tomorrow. I have to WORK today!"
"Good luck with that. Will you get in trouble for being late?"
"Naw! I'll only be about five minutes late." With that, he disappeared into the bathroom to get ready.
One of the perks of being management, and not having 100 adolescents waiting for you to show up and prepare them for life.
Those management types--they can get away with everything.
ReplyDeleteI saw there was a Barbados blackbelly ram that was loose--recently--and got struck by a car (and was killed). Was that one of Hick's auction finds that got away?
Um. No. Hick is perfectly capably of killing his own livestock. Sometimes after multiple attempts. Sometimes by too much love. Sometimes by playing matchmaker.
DeleteOops! Typo by Val Thevictorian! Mark you calendar! She does know how to spell "capable."
DeleteThat's why you're you - Val the Victorian!
ReplyDeleteI'm an irreplaceable cog! With certain dexterity issues.
DeleteI was almost always late for work. No matter what I did, something distracted me or went wrong. It was usually no big deal, one day I absolutely had to be at work early for a meeting I had called. I was good, got up early an left for work leaving myself 45 minutes wiggle room. My train broke down and I was 20 minutes late. No one believed me.
ReplyDeleteI believe you!
DeleteI just found out today (after being absent, then going back to catch up on my work when picking up The Pony) that on Monday, my end of the parking lot will be resurfaced. I have duty Monday morning in the other parking lot. Can you imagine if I hadn't gone in and been kindly accosted by my down-the-hall neighbor? I would have parked. Been summoned to move. Missed my duty. Which would of course have triggered a multi-car pileup and possible lawsuit.
Murphy works overtime laying down his law on crucial days.
You wake at five, shower and take a nap? Interesting.
ReplyDeleteThink I can pitch a TV show about it? No crazier than a show about nothing...
DeleteShower AND a nap BEFORE school? You have the life!
ReplyDeleteApparently, many of you are astonished that I am clean and rested. I need a better publicist.
DeleteI can't imagine a job where I wouldn't have to panic about being late. Maybe in that instance my mornings would be better oiled machines and not the sputtering kind with fits and starts. But I'd probably also be late a lot.
ReplyDeleteI always worry on duty day that I'll get stuck behind a wreck.
DeleteAnd I worry during heavy overnight rains that I won't be able to get out of our gravel road. Adolescents wait for no woman. Hijinks and horseplay WILL occur. Somebody might put an eye out.
The ones who have to be there to be ready for everyone else are the ones who should get the big bucks--not the screw driver.
ReplyDeleteI heartily agree!
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