Val Is a Deadbeat Dud

I was cleaning off the kitchen counter Saturday morning when I discovered an insurance envelope. Let the record show that this was an oversize envelope, the kind the insurance company sends us with the little proof-of-insurance cards inside attached at the bottom of the policy info. It was NOT a regular business size envelope that the insurance company uses to send us our bills.

If it had been the bill envelope, I would have stuffed it in my purse until the next day, when I would write out the check and put it in the mail the following day on the way to school. We don't let bills hang around here for long. Bite the bullet now, don't let the injury fester.

So there was this oversize envelope laying there with a couple of other pieces of mail that had gotten wet inside EmBee during the torrential rain that we had back in...um...April. I had set them aside until they dried out and could be opened without damage. Let the record show that if this had been a business size envelope from the insurance company, containing a bill, I would have laid it on the vent overnight to dry it out faster. We're all about using the modern conveniences to our advantage.

As you might surmise, I opened up that oversize envelope on Saturday, around noon, because I laid it down on the table beside me while I watched The Pioneer Woman (twice) and Trisha's Southern Kitchen, then got up from the La-Z-Boy to take a shower, and found inside along with the policy and proof-of-insurance cards...a bill. Three bills, in fact. Oh, they were the regular size bills, and enclosed was the business size return envelope. It was the yearly insurance for Hick's Gator, Hick's Scout, and Hick's two 4-wheelers. All together, a little more than $500 worth of bills, which is highway robbery if you ask me, to insure those vehicles that are simply playthings for Hick.

So...I got to looking for the due date, and saw that it had been Monday. Don't that just beat all? You let a piece of mail lay around six weeks or so to dry out, and then discover it was a BILL that was due six days before you opened it! I got online to check the hours of my insurance agent, thinking I could run by with the checks that afternoon. Well. Don't THAT beat all! Insurance agents don't work on Saturdays. So I wrote up my checks and stuffed them in the return envelope, but shoved them in my purse so I could run by today after school and pay the agent at the office.

You'll never guess what was in EmBee when I got home. Yep. A notice that my insurance bill was past due on Hick's Scout. And do you know what? IT WAS IN A BUSINESS SIZE ENVELOPE! Just like a bill should be, as all the other bills we've gotten in the past.

I think somebody in the mail-out department thought he would be saving the insurance company money on postage, and started including the bill in with the proof-of-insurance cards. Which has most likely resulted in many people not noticing that bill, and being delinquent in their payments.

That's what I'd like to think.

Surely Val is not the only deadbeat dud that missed the deadline on her yearly off-road-vehicle premium.