What does a teacher do on her last day at school? Take pictures, of course!
You might think a teacher would take pictures of her students who might be graduating. Or pictures of her students who are moving on to another building. Or pictures of her students who are progressing on to the next course. Or pictures of her colleagues who might be retiring or jumping ship. Or just feel-good pictures with her bestest buddies, for the good times.
You'd be wrong.
A teacher takes pictures of her electronic hookup configurations, because she never knows when the technology department will get to her room next August. It might be early, the first week of the month, so everything is good to go for her work days and open house. Or it might be the morning of the first day of school, requiring her to go to Plan B for the 100 new students who will be flooding into her classroom that day.
Yes, you live and learn. As crazy as it sounds, Mrs. Thevictorian is not at the top of the tech chain! Can you believe that other people's problems might take priority over the hookup of Val's electronic accouterments?
So there I was, my contractual obligations to the district fulfilled, gathering up my laptop to shelter at home over the free-for-all of summer school and building cleansing, on Friday morning after dropping off The Pony for his tutoring duties. I taped a diagram of my classroom furniture configuration on the corner of my hand-me-down desk. Once upon a time, the custodial staff asked for such a map. Because, you see, some years we returned to find furniture that wasn't even ours! We had to mount several expeditions, most of them clandestine, to reclaim our rightful belongings. And even if you had your own, it was kind of like looking into the mirror and seeing that you now had one eyebrow in its proper place above your peeper, and the other across your top lip, with your nose situated where Picasso might have found it aesthetically pleasing.
"You know, Val," I thought to myself, "you might want to sketch out the wire configurations on the back of your electronic accouterments. That way, you can get them all hooked up the morning your return, and you won't have to fret during your very last catered breakfast."
Heh, heh. Silly old Val! As she moved her cell phone out of the way to swing the tabletop printer around for an artist's rendering, she stopped still as a statue. Still as a freshman whose phone has just gone off in class. That happens when Val concentrates all of her energy on a single concept. "WAIT! I can take a picture of the connections with my cell phone! Then I can email them to myself. Then I can email them to my school account so I can have them ready next year as I'm hooking things up! I'm a freakin' genius!"
You see, Val tries to maintain separation of school and home. She does not check her personal email at work. She could not email them directly to her school account at this juncture, because the email account is being switched over to another email provider, of which Val is not exactly sure of the address, and the current one may or may not lose information during the transfer. Besides, the current email has just slightly less letters in the address than the longest town name in Iceland. Thus the convoluted steps in her plan.
I fired up my phone and commenced to snapping. Here's a little sample from my gallery:
Why yes, they DO progress from simple to complex! As you can imagine, Val would be at a loss without her photographic diagrams. This is not the Age of Genius, when he would stride into the room, work his magic like one of those creepy cup-stacking-champion kids, and hold out his palm to collect $20. No, this is the Age of Val and The Pony. Last year, we got lucky. And by we, I mean mostly The Pony, who shoved wires here and there until they fit, while I tried to turn things on until they worked. We were stymied by why the phone needs to be plugged into the laptop dock, but it all worked out.
But here's the problem with my geniatic plan. As your remember, because I'm sure you were reading closely, hanging onto every word, I was going to take the photos, email them to my personal account, email them to my school account, and look at them on my school laptop screen while I hooked things up. Does anyone see a problem with this plan?
I CAN'T LOOK AT THEM ON MY LAPTOP UNTIL MY LAPTOP IS HOOKED UP!
I guess I'll just take my phone, and hope the lens doesn't fall out of my glasses while I'm squinting to see where the wires go.
Those pics wouldn't help me, I'd need each cable numbered and color coded to match all the hook-ups.
ReplyDeleteThose photos... they went from mildly interesting to downright edge of my seat pictures.
ReplyDeleteI cannot wait until I'm brought to the pinnacle of excitement in August, when I get to hear if you had to hook them up or if the technology nimrods did it for you.
Of course, this was the last time you had to take these pictures. Who cares what kind of tangled-up mess the chords are in August 2016?
I hate technology!!
ReplyDeleteIngenious solution, well sort of. Enjoy your summer vacation--you earned it!
ReplyDeleteCan't you print off the pictures at home?
ReplyDeleteThe first two pictures made sense to me. After that . . .?????
ReplyDeletejoeh,
ReplyDeleteOne year, I did that with tiny strips of masking tape, on to return and find that they had peeled off because of the high humidity. I have a devil of a time keeping posters on the wall, too, even with those 3M double-sticky clear square thingies.
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Sioux,
I certainly hope you are not using sarcasm, Madam! That is not becoming. If you tell Val that you are on the edge of your seat, I expect you to stay there all summer. Maybe you can have some medication delivered for your heart palpitations as you await the climax of the saga...
Yes. I threw in those ellipses just for you.
Next May, if I'm feeling frivolous, I might just throw caution to the wind and UNPLUG EVERY WIRE!
******
fishducky,
ME TOO! As my son tells me every chance he gets: "Technology is not your friend." That must be why I hate it. If it's not going to be my friend, I'm not even going to try to be civil.
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Donna,
I thought I had it figured out!
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Broad,
YOU'RE A FREAKIN' GENIUS! Yes, I can print them at home. I even have a new used color printer that my son shook me down for funds to buy. If only I can figure out which printer to choose when I do the print set-up.
You need to get on the phone to MENSA. Have them send you an application. I can't believe I didn't think of printing the pictures! I will put the copies in my laptop bag so I don't lose them before August. They'll be safe there. I don't plan to open it. It's leaning against the wall under the window in the living room. Yeah. I'm not very good with decor, either.
*****
Catalyst,
Maybe you and Sioux can plan a waiting party and a viewing party to pass the time until I hook them up again. Be careful, though. Don't get too close to her. She's on the edge of her seat. It could be dangerous for both of you.