Pony At the Trap

This is the weekend when kids declare the unofficial start of summer, teachers breathe a sigh of relief, and swimming pools open their attractive-nuisance-fenced doors to admit the public. So it was only fitting that I should step out on the back porch and see Hick and The Pony attempting to open Poolio.

Oh, Poolio! How you have aged from your heyday, when The Pony could not even stand on the bottom and keep his flared nostrils above water. It seems like only yesterday, and not nine years gone by.

Genius evaded the preparation of Poolio by approximately two hours. Hick said he had been getting ready all week, draining water off the top of the cover. He said. However...I heard The Pony trot into the house, saying he just came in for his swimsuit. "Dad says I have to get down in the pool, or we can't get the cover off."

"WAIT! That water is freezing! It was down to 39 degrees two nights this week!"

"I know. Dad says it will just be for a minute. I'm taking a towel to wrap up in when I get out."

I heard The Pony changing in the laundry room. Then the door slammed. I headed out back to see what was going on. Hick and The Pony had pulled the pool cover over to the side, but there was still some residual water remaining inside. Residual water that contained leaves and algae that had been marinating on top since last September.

The Pony had just climbed down over the porch rail to Poolio's deck. Hick was already delegating duty. "Jump in and get your arms under the cover. I'll pull from this side, and you can lift it up. We'll dump it over the side."

The Pony was hesitant. "It's going to be really cold."

"You won't be in there but a minute. Jump in and get it over with. Or you can sit on the side and dip your feet in to get used to it."

"I think that would be a big mistake." But The Pony did just that.

"COLD! I'm not worried so much about getting in as I am getting out without the ladder."

"You can put your hands on the deck and jump up, then climb out."

"That will be hard to do while I'm shaking."

"I'll come get you out if you can't make it." Said Hick, with all the speed of a Galapagos tortoise as collateral for the check his mouth was writing.

The Pony jumped in and immediately slipped, just narrowly avoiding a mouthful of untreated nine-month-old buttwater soup. "There's algae on the bottom!"

"Don't worry about that yet. Come over here and grab the cover."

Let the record show that I normally don't reveal my family's faces on my blogs. I try to cut off their heads at every opportunity. However, I don't find them particularly recognizable in these photos. And since The Pony appears uncharacteristically bloated, and Hick appears uncharacteristically svelte, I don't think I have let an identifiable cat out of the bag. Further let the record show that the greenish discoloration on the pool cover is an optical illusion, most likely a reflection from the algae on the bottom, because in real life the cover was all black.

Of course The Pony could not lift that pouch of water. He's not known for his strength. So Hick developed another plan. "We'll let some of that water out, if your mom will go in and get a knife. There's a hole in this cover anyway, so we're going to need a new one."

"He's freezing! And you want him to stand there while I get a knife?"

"No. He can climb out and come get the knife when you hand it over the rail."

I accomplished my mission. As you can see by The Pony stabbing Poolio's cover with an orange-handled knife such as those made in Hick's factory. The problem was, once The Pony stabbed a hole and water started spouting out, helpful Hick pulled on the edge of the pool cover, thus raising that hole above the water line inside, rendering it useless. "Stab another hole, Pony." And the process was repeated.

"That water will never drain if you keep pulling on the cover. Let some of it come out. Or let him stab it farther down."

"That would be stupid. Water from the pool would come in. It would fill up more."

"Dad. Why don't your cinch those hooks like you planned."

"Yeah." And Hick set to securing the pool cover to his orange come-a-long ratchety rope thingy, which was hooked onto the front of his Gator, which...

"HEY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU'LL BLOW OUT THE SIDE OF THE POOL! STOP! STOP!"

As you might imagine, my advice was ignored.

Thank goodness Hick stopped at holding Poolio's cover, and didn't try to drag it over the side. Because I don't know how to take video, and that would have been a wasted redneck faux pas. No YouTube video = didn't happen. After several dozen more stabbing attempts, Hick revealed Plan C. Which I may have suggested, but which Hick thinks he thought of.

"Go get the big blue hose, Pony. We'll hook it up to the trap and pump it out." He cut a slash in the cover, and jammed his end of the blue hose into it.

The Pony stuffed his end in the bug trap part. Of course this didn't work, because the regular pool water has to be above a certain level so water is over a thingy on the side. So Hick declared a moratorium on pool cover removal for the day, and left the skinny red hose in there filling Poolio from the well. Anybody who has well water can appreciate what The Pony was sacrificing by squishing around in there for fifteen minutes.

The Pony reports that the cover has now been safely removed by pumping the water out. He is hoping to get in a swim sometime this week.

I think he already has.