Saturday, May 9, 2015

Just Call Me Val Valannadanna

"We ate pie food."

"WHAT?

"PIE food!"

"Did DAD eat pie food, too?"

"Yeeessssss..."

"He is NOT supposed to be eating that!"

"Why? There's not much sugar in it."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

"Nooooo..."

"Can I talk to him?"

"We're just now getting on the road. So no. Or maybe."

"Never mind." I was so mad at Hick that I could have ripped his head off through the phone.

Let the record show that on Thursday evening, The Pony and Hick drove down to see Genius at college. They were picking up some of his belongings to bring home, and having dinner with him. In the college town is a shop known for its fabulous pie. Every year when the boys' school W.Y.S.E team goes down to that college for their competition, the team has lunch in the dorm cafeteria with their vouchers, then walk over to the pie shop. The permission slip the team coach sends home even has a note about bringing money for pie.

Genius loves pie, but The Pony has always been more of a brownie person until this year. A small segment of the team went on a college tour after lunch, thus missing the pie shop. However, as the coach explained to them when she asked who wanted the tour, they could give the assistant coach their money, and she would bring back pie for them. So The Pony pawed his hoof outside his comfort zone, and had a slice of chocolaty chocolate chocolate-something pie. Which he heartily enjoyed.

So you can imagine my consternation when I asked, after The Pony called to tell me that he and Hick were starting home from their Genius visit, where they ate. Hick has no business eating pie! He is diabetic, taking oral medication and not a shot, and should not be scarfing down pie as a meal. I don't care how much The Pony tries to sugar-coat the facts (see what I did there?) and explain to me that there's not much sugar in pie.

They arrived home around 8:30. The Pony came down to my dark basement lair to report that he was not going to lay on the couch with his laptop, but was running a bath in the big triangle tub, then going to bed.

"So, what did you have for supper?"

"I told you. Pie food."

"Specifically, I mean. What kind?"

"Some kind of chicken."

"PIE?"

"NO! THAI FOOD! THAI!"

"OH! I thought you were saying PIE food! That's why I was so mad about Dad eating it."

"No wonder. It was THAI food. Just spicy."

Yeah. Nevermind.

6 comments:

  1. The Pony has become quite adventurous when it comes to new foods. Chocolate pie... What next?

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  2. Now I'm hungry for pie food. Specifically, chocolaty chocolate chocolate-something-flavor.

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  3. Thai food really raises by blood-sugar level so he might have done better with pie.

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  4. Chocolate pie. Thai Food. What's next? Chocolate coated grasshoppers? Life is more adventurous in Missouri than I would have thought.

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  5. WHAT? Nobody called me out for using the wrong character in my title? I don't need butt-kissers! I need fact-checkers and caller-outers!

    Don't pretend that you didn't know it was Emily Litella who always said, "Nevermind," and Roseanne Roseannadanna who talked about stuff like finding a toenail in her hamburger. But you have to admit, Valily Litella doesn't have the same ring to it as Val Valannadanna!

    *****
    joeh,
    Yes, especially because I always expect the worst from Hick.

    *****
    Sioux,
    I can't believe he ate Thai food! And today, on the way home from the state bowling tournament, he says he ate a slice of SUPREME pizza off the Pizza Hut buffet! He's always been a plain cheese kind of guy.

    ******
    Tammy,
    I'm sure you could take a road trip and be there in a couple of hours.

    ******
    Stephen,
    You mean I was VALidated in shaming Hick for eating verboten food?

    ******
    Catalyst,
    Yes, we have not been noted for our varied cuisine...until NOW!

    ReplyDelete