Yesterday we had leftovers from our banquet for our 20-minute school lunch. The giant foil trays of pulled pork, BBQ chicken, potato salad, baked beans, and cobbler were exhumed from the cafeteria refrigerator, loaded onto a metal cart, and trucked across the hall to the teacher workroom. All we had to do was pry those cold entrees and sides from their congealed state, deposit a dollop on our Styrofoam plate, and wait in line for the microwave. AND be sure to cover our plate! No microwaving without covering the plate!
According to the orderer, the caterer brought the same amount as last year, when there was not much left over. Which just goes to show that maybe somebody should actually be taking a head count and collecting those tickets they sell for the event. Let the record show that The Pony was free because he was being honored along with the other scholars, and that Val was free because she is faculty, and that I paid the asked-for $10 for Hick's ticket. Which he laid on the table, no questions asked.
Years ago, they had a ticket-taker standing at the head of the buffet table with a wicker basket to collect the tickets. I had paid $30 that year, only to have the ticket-seller come give me a $20 refund for us two free eaters. But I still kept the tickets. Which made a lot more sense. You never know how many family members are going to tag along if you don't require a ticket from each eater. That must have been the problem last year when more food was scarfed down.
This year, I saw one young fellow who was not a member of the honoree crowd, but a sibling of one, sitting at a table with The Pony's crew. He just sat there, watching others eat. Then one of his buddies persuaded him to get a cup of lemonade. Then when the MC announced that people may go back for seconds it they desired, he went and got a plate. Not that I care. There was plenty of food. But to cut down on waste, they might just want to go back to the everybody-needs-a-ticket-to-eat plan, until the call is made for seconds.
So anyhoo...we loaded our lunch plates. Some warmed them. I did not. I eat cold chicken at home. And a cold pork sandwich is not poison to my palate. Forget the sides. Just a dab of dessert, and I was good to go. Let the record show that heaps of food were laid out for our 20-member faculty and dozen or more support staff. An entire tub of pulled pork, and at least 60 pieces of chicken, the breast/wing combo, or the leg/thigh. In fact, today, after our second free lunch, the food had to be taken to the dumpster lest it spoil over the weekend.
Of course I hate to see food go to waste. But it was not like I stuffed chicken pieces in my pockets or filled up a Styrofoam cup with pulled pork. Nope. We had regular size round Styrofoam plates. On mine I placed a pulled pork sandwich on a hamburger bun, a chicken breast/wing, and a bit of peach cobbler. A couple of gals piled their plate with pulled pork doused with BBQ sauce, no sides, no dessert. One only took a piece of chicken and some cobbler. Such is their preference. But please spare me the substitute who took about two tablespoons of pulled pork and nothing else. Oh, that's her prerogative also. Until she did this...
SHE WAS UNDRESSING MY PLATE WITH HER EYES!
Yes! She was! I don't know what her fascination is with my food. She has done this on other occasions, in other years. Stared at my food the whole lunch shift. Maybe she should go to the circus next time it's in town, when a tornado doesn't cancel the appearance, and take a video of the fat lady feeding, so she won't have to stare silently yet judgmentally at me. She used to actually question my home-brought lunch. "What's that? Pork steak? What did you DO to it?" You'd think a person of her years would have seen a commercial for Shake 'N' Bake before. Did I ever question her bag lunch of dandelion-and-fescue salad with its dressing of cow rumen juice, or whatever non-mainstream delicacies she brought? NO! I took a glance, and that was that. No interrogation, no infatuation bordering on obsession.
I don't know what her issue was. Maybe she wished she had taken more than two tablespoons of pulled pork. We didn't begrudge her a stick-to-your-ribs free meal. There was plenty! Anybody could see that. Even for two days worth of lunches.
She needs to reel in her eyes, or spread those peepers around to other eaters.
I am a VAL, not an animal!
I hate it when people curl up their lip or raise their eyebrows as they ask. "What IS that?" after they've taken a gander at my lunch.
ReplyDeleteIt's food. My food, not yours. NoneYa.
Maybe she's on a diet or health food kick, and vicariously enjoying your meal by watching you eat it?
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the VALidation. It must be a teacher thing. We have so precious little to call our own. Even bathroom trips must be shared with the 5 colleagues brandishing their flaming torches whilst they pound on the heavy wooden door to the faculty women's restroom during the 4-minute passing period when we are allowed to relieve ourselves.
I imagine you must walk your charges in line to and fro special classes and lunch and recess. I, on the other hand, hear the bell ring for the current class to leave, and before they are even out the door, the next group is pouring in. Not even a moment to burp, pull the underwear out of your crack, take a Tylenol, or call the office about a confidential matter that cannot be discussed in front of other confidential matterers.
Yes, lunch is that brief respite when all we desire is to sit in our regular chair and eat our broughten food without interrogation or an overly-involved audience.
Perhaps I can have Hick manufacture some signs on paint sticks (much like Sioux-on-a) that say NoneYa! You know, like those funeral home fans from when we were kids. And our cronies might get the message: none of your business, be prepared to DIE! Of course I would sell them from the counter of my proposed handbasket factory, and maybe at state teachers' conventions.
*****
Stephen,
Of course. And it's Val's responsibility to provide that vicarious thrill for the healthy.
Next, it will be Val's responsibility to answer questions about her love life to provide that vicarious thrill for the frigid, or those who wish to abstain to refrain from procreating.
Some people are just too nosy for their own good.
I have a daughter and two granddaughters who would have questioned her staring and then made her feel very small. I have been known to do that myself, especially on a repeat performance. " Why are you staring at my plate? Is there a roach I don't see? Do you feel that I have taken more than my fair share, or perhaps you think I am fat and should be eating less? I am really curious to know the answers, since you seem to be fascinated by my diet."
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteThat is not Val's way. She is an avoider of confrontation. So she seethes significantly inside, and puts it on her blog post later, after selling seashells at the seashore.