One Man's Junk Is My Man's Loot

Hick might need an intervention. He has gone off to the auction tonight. His regular auction night is Saturday. I'm pretty sure there's one every night, somewhere. It just depends on what items he's in the market for.

Last week Hick sent me an email from over by the goat pen. I think the message was, "Here's my newest find." At least it didn't border on obscene like that picture of the three-quarter-scale metal knight statues. Oh, if you remember correctly, it wasn't the statues. It was the view of Hick's thumb in the photo, which looked like something that is not a thumb.

So here it is, in all its glory. Not his thumb thing. His newest find.

Maybe you can tell me what they are. He calls them his "cast iron snakes." I find them just a skosh disturbing. It doesn't help that he has posed them on our picnic table, with my grandma's old chair in the background. Yeah. We're not much for picnics.



And Hick didn't even get these things from the auction! They were completely free. I know. Hard to believe, right?

"Did you see my cast iron snakes?"

"I saw that picture of something on the picnic table."

"That's them. I was looking at a house for my buddy. He bought it and wants to know what needs to be fixed up. I was walking around in the front yard, and I tripped on something. I just figured it was a rock. Then I tripped again. I got to kicking the grass and dirt away, and it was one of these cast iron snakes. I didn't know what to make of it. So I got to looking around the yard, and found three more. I dug them up and brought them home."

"That's STEALING!"

"Now wait a minute. I called my buddy to tell him about the house, and I told him I found these things, and I brought them home. He said, 'That's fine. I don't want them.' So he gave them to me."

"AFTER you took them! They're creepy. What if they were some kind of grave marker, and you dug them up, and now some entity is going to get revenge?"

"They're not grave markers!"

"Do you know what they are?"

"No. But they're cast iron. And they have snakes and birds and stuff on them. I asked a guy at the auction. I showed him that picture, and told him where I found them. He said people used to have all kinds of decorative stuff like that around their houses. And he said that they're worth about $60 apiece."

"Well, you wouldn't know any different. I still don't like them."

"You don't have to. They're mine."

I'm not exactly sure what he has there. But I don't want them any closer to the house than they already are. If you know what these cast iron snakes really are, give me a clue. And by that I mean tell me, because I'm not very good with riddles.