Thursday, June 25, 2015

Preparing The Pony For Higher Education

Amongst the many treasures unearthed from my childhood closet was this:

Better make that my prior-to-moving-out-of-my-childhood-home closet. The perspective is a little off. It's the same size up top as at the base. It was hanging over the edge of a box in the top of my bedroom closet out at Mom's house. The Pony was taking things down for me to look through.

"Is that a HOOKAH?"

"Um. No. How do you know about a hookah?"

"I watched The Amazing Race!"

"Well, it's certainly not a hookah. You smoke through those. And it's not a bong, either!"

"Suuuure."

"Like you even know what a bong is."

"And YOU do?"

"Hey! I went to college."

"It's made out of a beer bottle."

"I know that. It's a bud vase. You act like I drank the beer and stretched out that bottle myself. I did not. I probably got it on my senior trip, at Daytona Beach."

"Okay."

"Really. I can't imagine where else I would have gotten it. It's not like they sell them around here."

"Uh huh."

We won't go into my fancy bottle collection, one marked only on the bottom with ".5 liters" and the other labeled "Gin."

12 comments:

  1. Stretching the truth in so many ways, my poetic friend.

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  2. what happens in Val's closet should stay in Val's closet.

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    Replies
    1. I think the mouse who left two turds would agree.

      Delete
  3. You went on a senior trip to Daytona Beach? Did I see your face on an old "Girls Gone Wild" tape? You know, the ones where they have to blur things for the commercial?

    I could swear it was you...

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    Replies
    1. Reports of my "WILD" body have been greatly exaggerated, Madam.

      Delete
  4. Looks to me like a container for a very special Missouri perfume. Or should I say "parfum de Missouri?"

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    Replies
    1. That's exactly what it is. Three bottles behind each ear makes one irresistible.

      Delete
  5. Will you 'fess up if he asks you directly, or will you lie? That IS an interesting bottle.

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    Replies
    1. I think you have been spending too much time with Madam above. I told the whole truth on each account. That's no hookah. Daytona Beach is where the bottle came from, I know what a bong looks like. I went to college.

      The defense rests. Call your next witness. And it better not be Madam.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Your eye beholds more beauty than all other commenters combined.

      Delete