Adding oppression to this suffocation is the weather forecast. Looks like Backroads is in for 2 inches of rain tonight, 1 tomorrow, and .78 on Wednesday. You know what that means. The creeks will be over the bridges. AND my internet will probably be intermittent. It has been off and on this evening. So I'm making my blog hay while the sun ain't shinin'. While I'm in the middle of the rainy regions. Right now my local weather map shows me in the eye of a not-hurricane. In an open circle surrounded by green and yellow precipitation bands.
So...I started to get all writery with an idea about stuff I have "learned" from students over the years. I was trying to think of a synonym for "common" without use of my BFF Google, who is unavailable when the cloud cover is too thick. Of course I couldn't come up with anything. But when my BFF returned, I decided on "everyday." I'm thinking of something like The Encyclopedia of Everyday Knowledge. Or The Encyclopedia of Everyday Information. Or The Encyclopedia of Accepted Information. It will need a subtitle, of course, because I don't want people to actually believe they can look to it as a reference. Here's a little sample of the kind of entry you might find:
Scars Are Not
Permanent. Neosporin removes them. That's
stupid to think that
scars are permanent. Dude. It doesn't matter
that ranchers brand
cattle. People aren't freakin' cattle. All you
have to do if you
brand yourself with a hot metal thing like they
use on cows is put
Neosporin on it and it will disappear. Duh.
And anyway, you can
go to the hospital and they will burn off
the scar with lasers.
Yeah. That kind of stuff. Of course it's still a long way from being an encyclopedia. But I was just thinkin'...
What if the scar was caused by a laser? I was taught to spray the scar with Windex not Neosporin...wit, maybe that was from that Greek Wedding movie...never mind.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about having a creative idea die on the vine. Fortunately, there's usually more than one grape on that vine.
ReplyDeleteVal--With Hick as an added bonus (your resident fountain of knowledge, adding to the already-huge heap of information you have at the tip of your fingers) this reference book will be a hit.
ReplyDeleteIt DOES need a catchy subtitle, but I can't think of one right now...
Oh yes, you have a future best seller. The nincompoop youth will be promoting your book of their words as gospel. I also think Hick could toss in his 2 cents.
ReplyDeletejoeh,
ReplyDeleteI'll leave that research to you, as you work toward your Nobel Prize. That is one movie I have not seen, but I WILL tell you that Germ-X stops chigger bites from itching.
*****
Stephen,
Wait a minute! GRAPES grow on VINES? Just testing. I knew that. My grandpa used to grow grapes across the dirt road from his hog pen.
******
Sioux,
I have a special tome reserved for Hick. My Encyclopedia might wither on the vine. I only have ambitions for an article right now, not the whole reference book.
******
Linda,
Hick could be the 2 Cent Husband! The youth would only promote it if I used their names individually to give them credit.
You never saw "My Big Fat Greek Wedding?"
ReplyDeleteVery very funny movie!
I try to avoid things that begin with MY BIG FAT.
Delete"You just keep thinkin', Butch . . ."
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, that reminds me of the kid who wrote a four-page paper on how the the Chinese bombed the Japanese at Pearl Harbor, Japan. It wasn't for my class, but she made mention of getting ready to turn it in, and did not believe ME, the former VALEDICTORIAN, when I questioned her facts. I was only trying to help before she turned in her paper!
Delete