The Squirrel Man Shooteth

Sunday morning, I heard two shots. Gunshots. Sounded like they were in the front yard. Of course I thought nothing of it. The Squirrel Hunter had just been here the day before, licking his lips filling his feeders with corn. But that was down in the woods.

Anyhoo... between 8:00 and 10:00, I heard three more shots. Two behind the house, and one in the woods. Then the shooting stopped. I assumed the Squirrel Hunter gathered up his bounty and left. I had the shades closed, and stayed away from the unshaded windows. Just in case, you know, this was really Hick's murder-for-hire plan. Val's momma didn't raise no fool!

When Hick came home from his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5), he said, "My buddy got five squirrels this morning!"

"He must be a good shot. Because I only heard him shoot five times. I guess every one was successful. Who's gonna cook these squirrels for him?"

"HIM, I guess! He ain't got no wife."

"Well, he can come out whenever he wants! He could have a freezer full by winter. Won't even need to buy meat!"

"He said he got two of them out here at the end of the carport. Then he sat down on the back edge of it, and got two more. The last one was in the edge of the woods."

"The ones that sounded like the front yard, I thought maybe he got them in the cedar tree. But I guess they ran down. I don't think he would shoot up in that tree, because of houses in the background."

"He was happy to get 'em."

I was telling The Pony about it on the phone.

"Wait! What's this? I never heard about any squirrel man!"

"Oh. I guess I forgot to tell you. But it's okay, because he hasn't shot me 'accidentally' through the window."

"At least Dad's doing SOMETHING about it. Before you have maggots falling out of the ceiling into your bathtub..."

"NOOOO! Stop! I still have PTSD about that, and it wasn't even MY house!"

"I had been telling Dad for a week that my house smelled like death!"

"Enough! I can't!"

"Okay. At least it's gone now."

At least some of our squirrels are being "recycled." That's five less we have to deal with.

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Here's a picture of one of the feeders. Which was installed behind our house Monday evening, by Hick and Squirrel Hunter, while I was in town!

This was taken from the back porch, with me leaning over the fake fish pond to snap the picture. I'm not sure how I feel about a SQUIRREL FEEDER installed 30 feet from the porch where we're trying to get rid of squirrels.