Closing Performance

Never a dull moment when Hick and Val (plus Pony) hit the title office for closing on a property! It's a virtual live-action box of chocolates! The sale of our upper 10 acres went quite smoothly. Hick only needed to stop by 2 hours later to pick up the check, since we had to wait until after the buyers' appointment that was scheduled 90 minutes after ours.

Anyhoo... the before and after antics were certainly entertaining. I picked up The Pony to accompany me, because he makes sure my rolly chair doesn't roll when I'm trying to sit down and get up. The Pony will benefit from this sale, but was not a part of the legal proceedings. Hick met us at the title office as usual. It was at my favorite place, next door to Hick's Friday afternoon bull-shooting lair.

I parked out front. We could see SilverRedO across the street. A car pulled into the space in from of us.

"Is that Realtor? It's a different car. Wait. That looks like her. But different."

"I think her hair is shorter, Mom."

"Yeah. And she IS walking funny, with that arm held out. Must be the one she broke."

But THEN Realtor got out of the passenger seat as this imposter opened the door!

"Huh. They sure LOOK alike! Even the haircut. Just a little different color."

Just then Hick walked up beside T-Hoe, and we all got out and went inside. Well. Hick and Realtor went inside, and The Pony made sure I got up the ramp and across the threshold okay. Hick and Realtor were gabbing away, having a knee-slapping time when we got into the conference room. We just got the tail-end of it, but Hick filled me in later, at home, with the rest.

You might recall that Realtor fell and broke her humerus the day after we had an offer on this property. That was not to be the extent of her suffering. The day after she broke her humerus, she went for a walk at home. She lives in a lake development, and was walking around the lake when she fainted. Her neighbor saw her lying on the ground and called her husband. But he had already been called by Realtor's watch! It automatically calls him if she falls. 

Don't think Realtor is fragile. She's older than Hick, but pretty spry. She could easily beat me in a footrace. Well. If she stayed on her feet. Anyhoo... her neighbor and husband got there and tried to help her up, but they couldn't. Then Neighbor's son came home, and got her up. Realtor was pretty sure she had lost consciousness for a bit. The ambulance came and loaded her up, and drover her to... A NEARBY CONVENIENCE STORE at the entrance to the lake development!

As Realtor said, "The EMT looked at her watch, and said, 'It's time for me to go off shift. So we'll wait here until my relief comes on duty.'"

Hick and The Closer were incredulous. "What? The ambulance WAITED? Parked? I don't think they're supposed to do that!"

Realtor said, "I KNOW! I wanted to say: 'Don't mind me. I just passed out, and my blood pressure is too low, and I have cancer, and a broken arm! Oh, and would you mind going inside and bringing me a soda and a sandwich?' It's like there was no sense of urgency at all!"

So later I asked Hick: "You're telling me that TWO MEN couldn't get Realtor up?"

"No. It's hard. Even me and the daughter couldn't get that old lady up at the Senior Center. They're like dead weight when you try to lift them. But the neighbor's son was a big boy, and he got Realtor up."

"Then what?"

"She sat on the side of the road."

"WHAT? I meant, did they walk her home and call the ambulance, or did the ambulance come there, or what? And two men couldn't get her into SITTING POSITION on the side of the road?"

"I don't know, Val. I didn't hear all the details."

"How about the EMT?"

"Her husband or boyfriend came to get her."

"Wait! She couldn't have stayed at the convenience store by herself, and let the ambulance go on?"

"Like I said, I didn't hear all the details. But I think another EMT came, and then they took Realtor to the hospital."

Oh, well. Realtor looked good enough. Chipper, even. As we were leaving, she said, "I see my Uber isn't here yet."

Hick said, "Uber? I thought your daughter dropped you off."

That's Hick for you, always putting his foot in his mouth. NOBODY had said that was Realtor's daughter, and in fact, Realtor replied, "No, it's not even an Uber. That's just my friend who's been driving me around since I broke my arm."

Heh, heh! I later told The Pony, "Imagine having someone tell you that they think you are old enough to be your friend's MOTHER!"

At least nobody fell down or needed an ambulance...