Over the years, I've grown suspicious that Hick might possibly be trying to kill me. You may dismiss that as ol' Val being overdramatic. But surely so many alleged scenarios to accidentally do away with me are not mere coincidence!
Monday morning, Hick at least briefed me on a possible intruder.
"My buddy is coming out to hunt squirrels."
"I thought you were going to poison them. I was worried about the dogs getting into it."
"Yeah, I was gonna use antifreeze. I was telling my buddy, and he said, 'Don't do that! I'll come out and shoot them.'"
"Is he going to eat them? Is it even squirrel season?"
"Yeah, he's gonna eat 'em. So he didn't want poison out. Squirrel season runs from May 24 to sometime in February."
"Well. I guess that's a NEW way to try and kill me!"
"Oh, you're full of it!"
"No. I sit at the kitchen table, with those three windows around me. It would be easy for a stray bullet to hit me!"
"He will hunt from the woods!"
"Exactly. He could be down by the creek, shooting towards the house, where all the squirrels are. So easy for an 'accident' to happen!"
"He ain't gonna hit you!"
"Sure... shoot up into a tree, and miss, and that bullet comes right on up the hill and through the window and into my head! I watch those how to murder your wife shows!"
Hick was so dismissive. As if that could never happen. I was nervous all day long. I didn't hear the dogs barking. Later that night, Hick said he didn't know what day his buddy was coming. I guess it will be a mystery
I might ask Hick to get me a bullet-proof vest, and a riot helmet. He probably knows a guy.
And bullet proof glass in all your windows. I've been watching "The Beverly Hillbillies" and thought it was always squirrel season, also possum season and gophers too to make the gopher gravy they pour on the "chitlins" 😂
ReplyDeleteDid I ever post about the window in the office from the previous owners of the kampground? It was where the woman would watch the day swimmers and make many trips out to yell at them (which I found myself doing later)? It was bullet proof! I doubt they installed it to protect her fer from the angry swimmers. Probably bought at one of those places that sold cheap salvaged building supplies. I can't remember what HeWho did with it after I remodeled. Probably in that big hole he excavated to toss things he no longer wanted. The hole was big enough to bury the camper that burned. It was big hole! That was the camper that my little BoJangles mother was rescued from, and the owner could not afford to get rid of the camper remains. I would definitely give it to you if I still had it! in the meantime, perhaps you could move your location to a different spot in your house, with no windows!
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