Every evening when I set Hick's baked frozen food on the cutting block, I make sure to include a select-a-size paper towel on the paper plate. Because it's civilized, you know. And because I hate picking up a greasy TV remote after Hick has gone to bed.
Still, even though every night I see Hick take his paper towel with him to the recliner, that remote continues to be slick. I have to use a tissue from the box Hick won at bingo to try and clean it.
Wednesday evening, Hick had three corn dogs and three mozzarella sticks for supper. Yes, I offer him a salad or a vegetable, but he says no, that it's not necessary.
I joined Hick in the living room to watch Survivor. He was on a bathroom break when I picked up the remote to see what I wanted to watch later. SLIPPERY! How in the Not-Heaven does Hick do that??? Of course some interrogation was necessary after he returned, and the next commercial came on.
"You didn't even use your paper towel, did you? The remote was greasy again!"
"Yes. I used my paper towel. I always use my paper towel. Sometimes, I wipe my hands on my shirt, too."
"Well, it was so slick I had to use a tissue to try and get some grease off. I guess I need to try soapy water."
"Val, there is no way that remote can be greasy! When I was done eating, I wiped it all over with my paper towel, same as I always do!"
!!!
Welp! No need to call Mystery, Inc. Val has solved this one by herself.
I did not bother to explain to Hick why wiping a remote with a paper towel used to wipe grease from his hands would make it slippery. That's because I made no headway in explaining to my dad that sealing air into the Wonder Bread wrapper like it was a bread balloon did NOT keep it fresher. Plus I had to listen to his explanation that air is an insulator...
Men and their logic. Mysterious indeed.
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