Hick's Day in Court

Hick was off to the county courthouse this morning for his hearing. Okay. Not HIS hearing, but the one he was attending in support of our back-creek neighbor Bev, who was seeking a restraining order against Crazy Dude, who owns the land next to her, and pointed a swastika at her property, and told her that Hitler had the right idea. Oh, yeah, and he flies his drone over her house, and filed for a restraining order against HER, because he says she killed two of his cats. Nobody has ever known him to have cats.

Anyhoo...you would have thought Hick was a toddler on Christmas Eve last night. He kept talking about the hearing, and who was going, and what time, and what he planned to say. The hearing was scheduled for 9:00. It takes about 30 minutes to get there and find a parking spot. Hick left home at 7:00. "I want to have time to go have breakfast in town. And then get there early so I know what's going on."

At 9:39, Hick sent me a text. "Still waiting to go into court knew we should have gotten the 8-30 appointment." He acted as if HE had any say in it. It's Bev's deal. Not his.

Anyhoo...at 11:03, Hick called me to report the details.

"We was all sittin' outside the courtroom on the second floor. There by where the stairs come up in the middle. There was me and Bev and her husband and Buddy's wife. Then Crazy Dude come in and sat down across from us. He saw us all there, but he didn't say anything. We waited and waited. Then Crazy Dude got up and went downstairs. I guess to smoke.

We waited some more, and then the bailiff come out and called Bev's name, and she said, 'Here.' And then he called Crazy Dude's name. We said that he was just here, but he left. We thought he went out to have a cigarette. So the bailiff went downstairs and went outside and looked for him. Then he came back in, and called Crazy Dude's name some more. He even checked in the bathrooms. But Crazy Dude wasn't there. I guess he left!

It was time for the hearing, so we told the judge that we didn't know where Crazy Dude went. The judge said he had been notified, and had his chance, and since he wasn't here, he dismissed Crazy Dude's request for a restraining order on Bev. That just blows my mind. He went and paid a lawyer to file it and everything. Even though we all know it was a lie. Maybe he saw all of us there, and figured he couldn't prove it. I could tell him, 'Crazy Dude, I think you killed my dog. She went over there all the time, and then one day she never came home. We never found a body. But I think you shot her.' See? I could say the same stuff like he did, about the cats he never even had. I can SAY he did it, but I don't have any evidence. So no judge is going to believe it. It's just my word against his.

Anyway...Bev got her restraining order. Crazy Dude can't be within 300 feet of her or her property. Bev explained that her chicken house is only about 10 feet off Crazy Dude's property line, so the judge said that he can't keep him away from there, but that if she's in it and he comes out and starts something, then he's in trouble. But if she sees him out there first, to wait before she goes to her chickens. Just be reasonable. And Crazy Dude can't put up his swastika. Or fly his drone over her property.

I asked about the fence posts. I told the judge that all my property descriptions say that I own to the middle of the road, too, but that there's a 60-foot easement. I asked if we can make Crazy Dude move his fence posts back 30 feet. He said that would be a civil matter, but that if we wanted to get an attorney to file it, we could. So I'm gonna talk to the other people who use that road, and see if they want to. That one guy who lives up past Buddy is a lawyer anyway. So maybe we could get him to do it."

That's where I shut down Hick and his grandiose schemes.

"Just be happy that he doesn't put sticks in the road anymore! He's going to be mad over this anyway, so don't go get him stirred up right now. If there's another problem with the road, then you can do it. Just let it die down. I don't want him coming up here or shooting our dogs."

I'm sure Hick is going to talk it up, but I'm hoping nobody wants to start this road thing right now.

Hick is kind of let down, now that the excitement has passed. He's been looking forward to this for weeks. You know how people get after the holidays are over.