Thursday night, he went down to Goodwill in Bill-Paying Town in his Toronado. On the way home, he passed under the overpass by the local junior college, and saw a Highway Patrol car up on the ramp. It followed Hick, and pulled up alongside him, and drove along with him. Hick figured The Patrolman was looking at the Toronado. You know, admiring his PIMP CAR, as my sister the ex-mayor's wife politically-incorrectly calls it. Then the patrolman got ahead of him, and went up the ramp at the General Custards exit. But then he came back down the other ramp, following Hick, and turned on his lights. Hick pulled off, and the patrolman said
“Do you know why I stopped you?”
“I have no idea,” said Hick.
“You don’t have tags. You have to have tags.”
“That’s news to me,” said Hick. “I have historic plates.”
“Huh,” said The Patrolman. And walked around to look at the plates some more. “I still think you have to have tags. But I’m not sure. Do you have your log book? You have to have a log book for historic cars when you drive them.”
“I have one, but it’s at home.” Hick DOES have one, he says, but he hasn’t written in it in a while. Now he says he’s going to start, making sure to note that ‘June 29, 2017, stopped by highway patrol and asked about tags.’ I wonder if he wrote in it after being given a ticket for no seatbelt when driving it to a nearby town with Genius in it. I’m pretty sure he was along, and that HE was actually wearing a seat belt. Unless Hick changed the details to protect the guilty. Which was HIM.
Anyhoo…The Patrolman asked for the registration and insurance, and Hick gave them to him, and of course said about the insurance, “I’m surprised it’s not expired.” Meaning the card, of course, because I ALWAYS pay the insurance. Hick’s his own worst enemy sometimes, if you don't count ME. But The Patrolman said everything was in order.
“I’m not going to write you a ticket or a warning for the tags. You’ve had those plates since 1999. You might have been grandfathered in.”
Hick said he acted like he was doing him a big favor, but “No way could he write me a ticket for anything, because HE didn’t even know if I was supposed to have tags!”
Sigh. Another time Hick has avoided the Cross-Bars Hilton.