Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #66 "You Gotta Get the App!"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. This week's fake book will have you jumping up and down, screeching with excitement. You'll go bananas for it! You'll go ape! Reserve your fake copy now, before this fake book evolves into a classic!

You Gotta Get the App!

Sal Thethicktorian knows precious little about technology. She'd have a shoe-box-size mobile phone that plugs into her car cigarette lighter, just for emergencies, if left to her own devices. Sal's son, Wizard, encourages her to get the new "Personal Assistant" app for her cell phone, a hand-me-down from Wizard himself. Sal must have touched the wrong icon, because within 12 hours, her "personal assistant" arrives.

Sal's new "app" may not make a shopping list or calculate miles per gallon for her Yukon...but Harry is surprisingly handy, although a bit literal carrying out commands. Sal learned that the hard way. “Can of worms," "chew the fat," and "beat a dead horse" are now stricken from her vocabulary. On the other hand, it's great being able to sleep anywhere she wants.

Will Sal confess her error? Or tell Wizard that this "app" is the best thing that ever happened to her? (154 words)

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Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

Elephant, in the room..."Why does everyone sing the praises of Harry, yet nobody even mentions ME? This fake book has triggered my poor self-esteem. I hope Thevictorian's fame garners her Grand Marshall status at a circus parade some day, which requires her to dress as a peanut. At which time I will see to it that she gets the shucking of her life. Chuckles the Clown, anybody?"

American Tourister Luggage..."We have just the suitcase for Thevictorian to use on her fake-book tour!"

Empire State Building..."I hope Thevictorian does not make a stop at ME during her fake-book tour!"

Koko..."I would love to give this fake book a scathing review, but I just don't have the words."

Clyde the Orangutan..."I have my own special sign language for this fake book. The fake publishing company should have turned Thevictorian's work every which way but loose."

Bubbles the Chimp..."This fake book is no thriller. It's BAD! You definitely won't enjoy yourself if you try to read this poor excuse for literature. It's that black and white. It's as simple as ABC. You'll definitely stop before you get enough. Thevictorian must be some kind of smooth criminal to get this fake book fake-published. My advice to Harry is to run far, far away! Those humans are all wacko."

Cheetah..."I am not wild about this fake book."

Dr. Zaius..."I can't believe Thevictorian fake-wrote this fake book. If she did, I think she should be lobotomized, then sent to The Foribidden Zone. No good can come of people reading something like this. It heralds the downfall of society."