Val's Gonna Leave Ya Hangin', Bro!

This one's a two-parter, folks!

Let's begin with Hick and his penchant for being profiled by the police. Like that time he was minding his own business, and nobody else's, with his car seat laid back at the park, taking a nap after lunch, innocently trying to catch five winks or so before returning to the plant to put his nose back to the grindstone. Apparently, the work-town police have not forgotten about our Hick. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Last night I was updating our personal property assessment thingy. I usually update it and mail it right back when we get it in January. Actually, we usually get ours BEFORE January, and have to wait until the 1st to fill it out. This year, it came later, with a website on the form, so we could update online. But they had a bunch of stuff wrong on our online list, and on paper, they showed that we owned absolutely NO personal property! Yep. Our list was barer than Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard.

I was waiting to fill it out, because I sure didn't want to write all that stuff in, and look up VINs for 8 vehicles, and interrogate Hick on the specifics of various farm equipment. Hick said he was going to take it down to the courthouse to ask about it. Which he did, and was told that they messed up. Indeed, a week or two later, we got a CORRECTED assessment list in the mail.

I vacillated on doing the online form, or using the paper one, crossing off The Pony's old Ford Ranger and adding his Rogue, plus the Trailblazer that we bought my sister the ex-mayor's wife's half of. I had the Trailblazer VIN on the insurance card which had just come (along with the bill), and the Rogue VIN texted to me by The Pony, from the insurance card I'd just sent him in the mail. It's not that the process was difficult. I just put it off (Aquarians are known for that trait) because I couldn't decide if I wanted a record on paper, or if I trusted the new website to work.

Hick knew I was getting the form ready. I had to ask him if the Trailblazer was an LS, an LT, or a LTZ. And if the Rogue was an S, and SV, or an SV with SL. Can't have the county missing out on a few of our pennies. I planned to take the form to the courthouse assessor's office and turn it in, since I'll be going over to that town to meet my favorite gambling aunt for lunch on Thursday. No need fretting over our questionable mail delivery. The form has to be returned by March 1st or there's a penalty, you know.

When I went to bed in the early a.m. hours, I left that form on the kitchen counter, with a pen pointing to the line, and a note on a paper plate right beside it with the message: "Sign here." Also propped next to that paper plate were Hick's AAA membership card (I had used the number to get a cheaper rate on our upcoming gambling trip hotel rooms) and the updated insurance cards for the Trailblazer, Hick's Ford F250 4WD Club Cab Long Bed, and his 1980 Olds Toronado...all of which took effect on January 9th. My bad.

Of course Hick merrily walked right past that display, warming his Nutri Grain Blueberry Waffles in the toaster, and grabbing his banana off the counter at 6:00 a.m. He left the AAA membership card and the three insurance cards untouched.

How was Hick to know that the police...

Oops! More tomorrow.