This morning The Pony pulled the big green trash dumpster to the end of the driveway while I followed him in T-Hoe. It's a long driveway. Juno ran alongside The Pony, yipping and yapping and dashing here and there, having a grand time frolicking in the light rain. She stopped to pee, then took off like a chili bean launched out of an almost-albino girl's nose during a laughing fit. Oops! That was at my high school lunch table when I still had three years to go before my Victorianship. Back to Juno.
Juno stopped before reaching the end of the driveway. Then I saw why. THE POODLE! Uh huh. The dog from not-heaven was standing well into our yard, barking its fool head off at my Juno, who was only trying to protect property and Pony. I hit the door lock to let The Pony back in, not because I locked it in fear of that devil dog, but because it locks automatically when the car is in gear. As The Pony clambered into the seat behind me, I shouted through his open door, "Way to go, Juno! Way to protect our property!"
Just then that devil dog turned and ran down its own driveway. "Um. Mom? I think that lady was calling her dog back to their house."
Indeed. As we pulled out and rolled past their driveway, I saw that woman standing in the front door. I suppose she heard my congratulations to Juno, and assumed I was taunting her precious poodle.
Oh, well. You know what happens when we assume...
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Editorial Note:
For anybody not familiar with this not-heaven-hound, let the record show that it is a champagne-colored standard poodle, twice the size of my sweet, sweet Juno, which charges at us menacingly even though we are inside T-Hoe or seated upon the riding mower.
Juno needs to beat that frou-frou dog's butt. And soon...
ReplyDeleteI know this is not politically correct, but I hate poodles!
ReplyDeleteDog-wars. Ain't nothing like 'em!
ReplyDeleteI hear poodles are the smartest breed and can be testy.
ReplyDeletePellet gun set to stun would be the way I would go. We had a problem with our fence neighbor's lab coming around and getting into our garbage. One pump on the pellet gun was enough to send him off without hurting him. We tried other things first, like water, airhorn, etc., but he was a sneaky snake and kept coming back.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteBut my sweet, sweet Juno is...um...too sweet! She mouths off, but she won't seal the deal. I need a German Shepherd pup.
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joeh,
I am beginning to. Poodles should be itsy bitsy. This is like having a giant Chihuahua terrorizing the neighborhood.
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Catalyst,
Unless you're in the middle of it. Then it's a matter strife and pet.
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Stephen,
WHOA! I think what you SHOULD have heard is that poodles are the second-smartest breed, after Border Collies. Testy? I'll give you that one.
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msj,
Hick keeps threatening to use the paintball gun again, so that devil dog can carry its mark home in shame. Again. Alas, we need a CO2 cartridge for the paintball gun to return it to action. I know we used to have a pellet pistol, because Hick and his oldest boy were outside shooting it at each other to see if it hurt.
I have my old BB gun, but that wiry poodle fur kind of puts the kibosh on using that as punishment.