Those folks at the Windows Service Center are SO helpful, don't you think? How they research their records and find your phone number so they can call you to explain problems with your Windows Computer. Problems they can help you with over the phone. Yes, they're such a boon to the elderly, who would not even know their Windows Computers have a problem if not for these selfless souls.
Apparently, I'm elderly.
I had just gotten home from a long day at school making sure I'm caught up for the end of the quarter tomorrow, and gassing up T-Hoe, and sending The Pony on an expedition in Walmart to procure Hick's breakfast biscuits, and picking up a personal pan pizza for supper for The Pony and myself...when the phone rang at 6:05. I had barely had time to slip into my sweatpants with the hole at the hip, and my comfy blue sweatshirt with the salsa stain, and my red Crocs. I had not even gathered my Hidden Valley Ranch dip and broccoli and cauliflower as my side dish when the house phone rang. It has a gatekeeper, you know. And it announced: "Call from...Texas."
Yeah. I don't like how my phone gets all dramatic and pauses to emphasize who the call is from. I should have known better than to run to answer before the fourth ring. Should have let the machine pick up. But this call was from TEXAS. You don't mess with Texas. Texas wouldn't call little ol' Val without a good reason. That office for the IRS identity theft investigation unit is in Texas. Uh huh. You don't know how hard THAT was to find out, unless perhaps your read about it on one of my blogs or the other. They give you the runaround for about six months until you get the right address. Check it out on the internet. Any good sleuth can crack their code if you find their handbook.
Anyhoo...I wouldn't have answered except that I thought it might have something to do with identity theft. I just mailed off our taxes, you know. Because we can't file online without a PIN because of Genius's identity theft issue last year, and you can grow a long white Uncle Sam beard while waiting on the line to establish a PIN.
At first there was no answer when I picked up. After a couple of rounds of "Hello...hello...HELLO?" a person started to talk. She was trying to enunciate very clearly, but, like when Gretchen Wieners tried to make "Fetch" happen, it just wasn't working.
"Is this Mrs. Thevictorian?"
"Yes." I was curt. Not cute. Not accommodating. Not sweet.
"I am calling from the Windows Service Center about your Windows computer..."
"THIS IS A SCAM! GIVE ME A FREAKIN' BREAK!" I hung up.
I felt just the tiniest bit guilty, because she had an Asian accent, and no matter what type of Asian accent, I always think of Miyoshi Umeki, TV's Mrs. Livingston, talking to Mr. Eddie's Father. Yeah. I'm pretty sure Mrs. Livingston wasn't calling from beyond the grave to hack my computer.
So I don't feel all that guilty.
OR perhaps she was calling from the set of the movie "Sayanaro" (spelling)? But of course, she had a sadder end in the movie than she did as little Eddie's caregiver. Of course, she had to do put forth her best effort because if she got Mr. Bixby mad, he might turn green...
ReplyDeleteYou are digging deeper and deeper with your TV references. Miyoshi Umeki? Holy Hannah, tell me you at least had to Google that!
ReplyDeleteThose scams are terrible and prey on old people like me. I don't know why they can't be cracked down on...it can be worse than a mugging!
Hubby told our caller not to worry about fixing it because he was taking it to Best Buy. The guy said, "what the hell is Best Buy?" ;)
ReplyDeleteThose people call my office at least once a month, I don't understand how no one is putting a stop to this. A new one we've gotten a few times are people claiming to be the IRS and trying to convince me I owe thousands of dollars in back taxes....
ReplyDeleteYour knowledge of TV trivia is quite impressive.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteI have not seen Sayonara, but since I now know she comes to a sad end, I don't think I will invest the time. Don't fret. I am not turning green. I also learned the truth about Peter Pan this week. From my students. Did you know that Neverland is Heaven? And all the kids are dead? Except Wendy. She was just really sick, and near death, but recovered. Yeah. It's a lot more disheartening than learning that England is an island.
******
joeh,
Of course I did not have to consult my BFF Google. Anybody who was ever a fan of The Courtship of Eddie's Father KNOWS that Miyoshi Umeki was the housekeeper, Mrs. Livingston. And Jodie Foster was that little neighbor girl. People, let me tell you 'bout my BEST friend...he's a one boy cuddly toy...who'll love me 'til the end...
Don't get all worked up. You might fall and break a hip.
*****
Linda,
I bet that guy wouldn't know Miyoshi Umeki, either.
*****
Mich,
If everyone could only remember these two facts: the IRS never calls; the IRS never emails. The IRS communicates by mail. That's because it takes so long that they can earn more interest on your money every time they suck another month or two out of your life while you're waiting for a response.
The scammers keep scamming because even if somebody hangs up on them in a fit of rage or frustration, they are just flipping their wrist and poking a button. Not quite as dramatic as slamming down a five-pound telephone receiver.
******
Stephen,
Aw...shucks. It's only the same thing every Backroadsian of my age group has stashed in their noggin.