For all of you who clicked in here hoping to follow Hick's adventures at The Good Feet Store...you will be sorely disappointed. Just like Hick, I'm sure, upon reading that letter yesterday from The Good Feet Store, informing him that the branch where he spent $1000 on shoe inserts, because he was too embarrassed to tell them he would not pay that much, was going out of business, but detailing the location of other branches that would be happy to serve his needs. I'll bet they would!
Yeah. You don't really think I let Hick READ that letter, do you? I did not. What he doesn't know won't cost me another $1000.
No, we're talking about Genius here. Genius. Who was once termed by The Pony to be my Gift From Below. "You know what I mean, Mom. I don't mean under the ground." Yeah. I got it. Especially since it came right after The Pony informed me that he was my little Gift From Above around the age of four.
So...Genius sent me a text this morning, while I was working, of course, with my phone off as per workplace policy, that he had bought me a spectacular color printer. A color printer worth $600, for which he paid the low, low sum of $40. Which he was not shy about declaring that he expected in the form of reimbursement.
I suppose he has forgotten my strained relationship with all objects that plug in. Technology is not my friend. Not even my workplace acquaintance. Not even my estranged step-inlaw. Genius says he will bring it home and get it ready over spring break. That I will have no problem using it. We'll see.
Oh, and he'll take that reimbursement as a deposit in his bank account, or in cash.
I will never give that boy directions to The Good Feet Store.
About every 40,000 miles by Jeep dealer runs up a $1000 maintenance bill. I hope Hick gets better mileage from his good feet.
ReplyDeleteI love how you brought this story full circle with that last line, the mark of a really good writer.
ReplyDeleteSo the boy's a wheeler dealer, too? But you have to foot the bill. Sounds like every kid I know. Poor Hick and his bad feet. I got a letter yesterday from the feds. Possible jury selection. Can I send Hick, instead?
ReplyDeleteComputer printers are sold like illegal drugs. The printer is practically free but the ink is more expensive than Dom Perignon--you know, that stuff Kathy Bates bought to help celebrate the completion of "Misery's Return."
ReplyDelete$40 isn't bad for a printer. Sounds like your little gift from below got a heavenly deal.
ReplyDeletejoeh,
ReplyDeleteI need to strap one of those pedometers on him to check on my cash return. I have a feeling your Jeep will be way ahead of him.
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Stephen,
Flattery will get you everywhere. First you didn't call me crazy, now this. I'll be lucky if my head fits through the door of my dark basement lair.
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Linda,
Let the record show that Hick has served on a grand jury, and quite enjoyed the process. I think he was happy to be sequestered and fed. It was back in his poorhouse days after his divorce. It was a murder trial. Can't remember the specifics. He probably wasn't supposed to tell, but I'm sure the statute of limitations had expired by the time he bragged to me about it.
I'm afraid that if they check ID, Hick will not pass as you, unless you launch an epic makeover.
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Leenie,
Genius knows his way around a printer, but hopefully not around a bottle of Dom Perignon, an please, please, PLEASE not around Kathy Bates.
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Tammy,
I'm sure HE thinks so. That boy is constantly trying to push me into the 21st century!
Val--I am so glad you wrote this post, because I saw something on television and intended on mentioning this to you.
ReplyDeleteThe Good Feet people have a van. A mobile unit. A "we-will-come-to-you" vehicle. I am not sure if they would come directly to your home (I imagine this van comes to strip malls) but with a big spender like Hick, I bet they could be convinced to service him personally.
Now that I think about it, I know you are so busy making plans for your upcoming retirement, you probably don't have time to schedule an appointment with the Good Feet Store van, so I will make the ultimate sacrifice for you. I will spend a few precious minutes--minutes that I should be spending on my report cards--and I will call the GFS and give them Hick's name and your address... along with some times when YOU will not be home.
Perhaps I should also fax it to them, just to make sure they have it...
You can thank me later...
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteNO! Say it isn't so! I have not seen such a commercial. Perhaps it only trolls for suckers locally. I'm sure there must be some hotline I can call, like those banned gamblers 1-800-BETS OFF, to put Hick on a list so he can't be in the presence of Good Feet people. Maybe it's 1-800-FOOT OFF...