Old Folks and Technology, a Curious Combination

MOM ALERT!

My mom received a new remote control for Christmas yesterday. It goes with her cable TV system. I don't know if anything was wrong with her other remote. It could have just been a case of it needing new batteries. My best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel could relate to that. There's something about Moms and remotes and batteries. Mabel used to be a regular battery mule for her mom.

Anyhoo...Mom had been using two different remotes. One for volume, and the other for on/off and channel surfing. She has done this ever since she got cable, and even since she got a new TV. I think it's just a personal peccadillo. Apparently, my sister the ex-mayor's wife does not think Mom should be using two remotes. She took it upon herself to go by the cable TV office and get a new one for Mom. The clerk gave her a hard time. "Usually, people bring in the old remote when they need a new remote."

Sis: "I am giving it as a gift. I can hardly break into her house and steal the old remote and bring it in. Then my mom would only have one remote until she unwrapped the new one at Christmas."

Clerk: "Well, if you're not going to bring in the old remote, you'll have to pay a fee. The remote itself is free for cable subscribers, but we have to have the old one back. Otherwise everyone would come by for extra remotes."

Sis: "I will pay the fee. I was going to buy the remote anyway. I couldn't find one like it anywhere else."

Clerk: "The fee for a new remote is three dollars. Of course we will refund that when you bring in the old remote."

Sis: "That's all? Here's three dollars. That's not very much. I'll bring in the old one anyway. I don't have any use for it."

So Mom got a new remote. Not that she knew how to do anything with it. Genius had to go help Mom fix it because my nephew put it on full screen, and Mom prefers to watch her shows with five inches of black all around the picture. That's how she describes it. But when she watches Mizzou play basketball, she wants the full screen, so she changes it. According to her, she used to change it by pushing two blue buttons at the top of the remote, but this one didn't have two blue buttons.

Today The Pony and I dropped by Mom's house for a leftover lunch. The Pony downloaded some computer games in the family room while Mom and I visited in the kitchen. "Oh! Pony! My remote control would not turn off the TV last night. Do you know how it works? I think something is wrong with it. The channel buttons work, but not the OFF button. I was going to try that other remote I use for volume, but I didn't want to mess it up."

"You mean your TV has been on since yesterday afternoon?"

"Well...yes. I need to know how to turn it off."

"I can imagine you worrying over that TV. You won't leave the house with it on. So now you're housebound, all because of that new remote that cost Sis three dollars."

"You're right. I don't want to go off and leave it on. But I admit that a couple of times before, with the old remote, when I was just running down the hill for gas, or to mail a letter, I left it on. Then I thought, 'If somebody comes in here, they will think, that crazy lady left her TV on while she's not even here.'"

"Um...that would be a thief in your house while you were gone. Why would you care what a thief thinks about your electricity usage?"

"Oh, I don't know. I just don't want anybody to think I'm weird."

"Yeah. That would never happen."

For the record, The Pony turned off the TV with no problem. "It works for me. Maybe you should come try it now."

According to Mom, "He didn't use that white button on the top left that I used to use on my old remote. There's a red button on the right that says POWER. That's the one he used. Now I'll know."

Sometimes, I'm not sure what Mom is thinking.