He Could Free-Lance as a Photographer For the DMV

You know what's cool about Downstream Casino? They have buffalo. Real live buffalo, on the grounds. Not roaming, where the deer and the antelope play. I've never seen any deer or antelope there. But I've seen the buffalo. Unfortunately, Hick stops for no buffalo. By the time I had my phone out, we were past it. Hick could have stopped in the road. Nobody was around, it's a secondary road that you turn off, on the way to the three-states marker.

Yeah, you read me. There's a point near Downstream Casino where you can stand in three states at once! Pretty convenient if you're like Val, and want to go on a(n alleged) three-state crime spree! Uh huh. You can be in Missouri, Oklahoma, and Kansas all at once! We took a little detour for a photo op, on our way out to casino-hop.

First of all, allow me to show my own photos.

That's my own feet, standing on the marker. Oopsie! Looks like I only made it to two states. Must have been distracted, looking at my new shoes. More likely, trying to look into the sun at the screen of my phone to see if I had the marker in focus.

There's also a big rock pillar, which I think looks like a grave cairn. Only bigger.

Looks like the marker has been stolen off of it. We didn't know which was the actual location of the three-state junction. I'd assume the more modern one, due to GPS and surveys. I'd hate to think that I needed to climb up on top of that cairn to stand in three states at once. Or two.

Of course the Ex-Mayor my sister's husband organized this photo op. He took the official pictures, said they turned out great, and sent a copy to me and Hick. Let's just say that greatness is in the eye of the Ex-Mayor.

I guarantee you that Hick's belly is not that big! I guess Ex-Mayor held his phone right over us for the picture. I would have held back the curtain of my big shirt if I knew that my new shoes would not be showing!

I had to protect Ex-Mayor from himself. He almost cut Hick out of the picture, yet was too revealing for his own good. Now I know why he was laughing when he looked at the picture. Let the record show that I could barely keep my eyes open, squinting into the sun, my sunglasses in A-Cad a few yards away, and coming down with a cold spread by Typhoid Sis.

When my copy of the photos arrived, we were already several miles down the road. Now I know why Ex-Mayor didn't even think to send them until we were back on the highway.

I would have demanded retakes.

Val Is Public Enemy #3

Val's history as an (alleged) credit card fraudster, and also (alleged) counterfeit-check depositer must now be on her permanent record! Her every move is tracked. Apparently, the eye-in-the-sky surveillance of Downstream Casino found Val to be very photogenic.

Any time I'm in a casino, I'm aware that I'm on camera. Not that I do anything that needs watching. I'm not fast enough to be a purse-snatcher. I don't like to be around people, so I'm not sitting next to someone, waiting to snatch their cash-out ticket as it prints. I go my own way, laying low, seeking out the pennies/quarters where the losing people go. Playing slots that only they would know.

Anyhoo... Hick was the first to give up playing on Monday night. He goes back to the room without telling anybody, but he can't stay up much past 11:00. I ran into Sis and Ex-Mayor shortly after 1:00 a.m. Of course Ex-Mayor persuaded us to try a bank of Quick Hits that he said were paying. Of course they paid no one. Took a twenty from me. Took a twenty from Sis. And, sweet, sweet justice, took a twenty from Ex-Mayor.

I had wandered off to a new machine behind them while they were still Quick (not)Hitting. It's that Jin Huangdi Long slot that I discovered during BirthdayPalooza. When Sis was knocked out by Quick Hits, she came over to look at it. I was showing her how it paid. She doesn't play games like this. It's very similar to Buffalo Gold. When Ex-Mayor lost, they decided to call it a night. Sis asked if I'd be okay by myself. That was thoughtful of her, but this isn't my first casinopalooza! I assured her I would be fine. We agreed on a time to meet for breakfast.

It wasn't five minutes after Sis left that I hit a bonus on that slot. Of course I was excited. I'd had a couple of good line hits, and instead of my regular 60 cent bet, I was hitting the $1.20 every now and then, or the $1.80. As my money dwindled down from that original twenty I'd fed it, I was ready to move on. I was on my next-to-last spin when I hit that bonus.

It was a good bonus, too! Not so great if you consider the pay-off compared to the bet, but good because it re-triggered a lot, and I had 30-something free games. As you can see by the photo, I was down to 66 cents remaining when I hit the bonus. Also, if you're a gambler, you may notice that my player's card stopped working. That meant I wasn't getting credit for all that play. One thing (okay, one of many) Val is superstitious about is messing with her player's card during a bonus. I won't remove it or insert it. Also, I won't hit a button to speed up play. I let a bonus run on its own.

Well! I was pretty excited about my bonus, since none of us had been winning. I really wished Sis had stuck around a few more minutes to see it. I wasn't sure if she would believe me without a picture. Pics or it didn't happen, you know. I got my phone out of the pocket of my gambling purse. You have to be ready. These slots finish up the bonus abruptly, and you'll miss it if you're not careful. I had my phone in my hand, set on CAMERA, ready to hold it up at the crucial time. Just as I'd get it ready on the last spin, that slot would pop up two black-and-white yin/yang symbols, which retriggers the bonus for five more free games.

Darn it! I must have had my phone ready three times by then! I leaned back in my chair, my left arm dangling down, holding that phone, ready to get a picture on what I thought was the last spin. At last! My bonus came to an end! I actually got two pics, this one being on spin #33 of 34 bonus spins, with the music playing and video coins spraying and video fireworks exploding, while the current screen win counted up.

That was a really good screen, what with all those dragon heads, the top symbol. Even if I WAS tricked into taking the picture a little too soon. I've missed my chance before. Wasn't gonna happen this time. Silent CLICK, silent CLICK. Got my two pics.

"You're going to have to delete those pictures."

WHAT IN THE NOT HEAVEN???

That calm voice in my ear almost toppled me out of my chair! It was a female security guard for the casino.

"Oh. I'm just taking a picture of my bonus to show my sister. She just left."

"Well, I saw you, so they'll have to be deleted."

"Okay. Sorry."

I backed my phone out of the camera app, turned off the screen, and put it back in my purse. The security guard moved on.

You might notice that the pictures are here...

See... it's like when a teacher catches some kid violating a rule, and has to follow through and let that student that you KNOW he's violating a rule, that he's not getting away with it, and as long as he seems apologetic and doesn't draw any attention to the situation, that teacher can give him a break and not push the issue. Like checking his phone in class. Put it away, be quiet, and I won't take the phone and turn it in to the office. THIS time. But make a big crybaby scene about how everyone else does it, and I'm out to get him... well, you can kiss that phone goodbye until a parent comes to school to retrieve it from the office.

The watcher-people in the surveillance room saw me with my phone out. They either tipped off the security guard, or more likely she just happened to be in the area and heard the bonus and saw me with my phone out. Knowing that her superiors were watching HER on the surveillance cameras as well, she was obligated to look like she was doing something. She wasn't a power-happy rent-a-cop. She went through the motions. No harm, no foul.

It's not like I was filming live action for a YouTube gambling channel. Just one picture. Okay. Two. Does that make me a criminal? Val, a lifelong goody-goody, learned her lesson, and kept her phone camera off.

Or did she?

A Valedictorian, a Hick, an Ex-Mayor's Wife, and a Former City Official Walk Into a Casino For Free Stuff

Freebies are a big deal for cheapskate gamblers. CasinoPalooza 4 did not disappoint. Not only did each of us get a free hotel room for both nights, and a combined total of over $370 in free play, but we also had a group total of $88 in food comps. And let's not forget all the soft drinks we could swill while on the casino floor! So it almost paid us to go, see?

Imagine our delight when we checked our comp booklets, and found out that on the second day of our impending trip, Downstream Casino was offering FREE softside coolers! All we had to do was earn 40 points between 6:00 a.m. and 11:00 p.m. on Tuesday. Then print out a voucher from the kiosk, and take it to the player's card desk.

You can never be sure how many dollars it's going to cost you to earn 40 points. Depends on what level you're gambling, how much you win, and how much you play back. The Ex-Mayor was the first to get his cooler. He spent less than $16 to earn his 40 points. Would he have paid $16 for a cooler? Probably not! But it was FREE, you see! Besides, we were going to gamble anyway, whether it was there with a FREE cooler dangling as a reward, or at one of the other six casinos we were headed for that day.

I was second to get my cooler. I'm pretty sure the fact that Ex-Mayor and I are higher rollers than Hick and Sis had something to do with it. Still, I was only on my second twenty when I earned my 40th point. I immediately cashed out and went looking for Hick. He was sitting at the same game I'd left him at 30 minutes earlier, betting 60 cents a spin. "Go on. I'll have it in just a minute! I'll meet you up front." That was our designated meeting place, and it was time to meet.

Ex-Mayor helped me figure out the voucher thingy. Sis said she wasn't spending her money trying to win a FREE cooler. She had accumulated less than 20 points so far. "I have to conserve my money. We have a lot of places to go today. I can't spend it all here trying to get a cooler!"

As soon as I returned with my FREE cooler, Hick showed up. He needed extra help to obtain his cooler. Sis nearly had a conniption, as she watched Hick go to the kiosk and touch the screen as instructed by Ex-Mayor, then WALK AWAY LEAVING HIS COOLER VOUCHER HANGING OUT OF THE KIOSK! "Ex-Mayor! Go get Hick! He left his voucher! Someone else is going to grab it and get his cooler!" You know, because casinos are full of old folks hanging around the kiosks to steal free stuff. I doubt they could have gotten it, anyway, because we had to show picture ID along with our player's card and voucher to get it.

I chose the blue, and we were all hollering at Hick in the line so he'd get red. It's a Samsonite 36-can soft-side cooler. All that excitement and drama and money spent getting them... and I didn't even carry them in the house until yesterday, one whole week after we got them!

Aside from the free food vouchers, our other favorite freebie this trip was HOT CHOCOLATE. It's on the free beverage station at High Winds Casino. Believe me, we looked at all the others, too, but they only had coffee and tea and soda. The hot chocolate comes out of a machine. Sis remembered it from their trip over Christmas. "Make sure you take your thumb off the button before your cup is full! It will run over. It keeps going." Good thing we listened to her. It never pays not to listen to Sis.

Ex-Mayor was quite disappointed on Monday night, as we waited for him to come out to A-Cad. "Darn it! I forgot my hot chocolate! I was headed over there to get some. I was going to bring it with me!" Too bad, so sad! Sis and I had each enjoyed ours immensely. I doubt they would have let him walk out with a cup of hot chocolate, though. Carrying drinks out is frowned upon. I don't know if Oklahoma Indian Casinos have the same strict rules about alcohol as Missouri casinos. But you usually can't carry an open container out.

Tuesday, we stampeded straight back to the hot chocolate machine. Ex-Mayor went first. He dropped an ICE CUBE into his cup of hot chocolate. To cool it off faster, he said. That is just wrong! Though I probably should have done so, because I burned my tongue. Even though I knew to wait, and to blow on my hot chocolate before trying a tiny sip. It did not help that I double-cupped it. More to keep the floppy foam cup from squeezing too much than to keep it extra warm. I confess to having TWO cups of hot chocolate on Tuesday night. Mmm.

Yes, CasinoPalooza 4 was a bargain. The credit card statement came in the mail today. Time to pay off all the incidental expenses for our freebies.

A CasinoPalooza Army Travels On Its Belly

CasinoPalooza 4 kicked off last Monday, and wrapped up on Wednesday. It was a long time coming, and did not disappoint. Oh, nobody won any money! Don't get the wrong idea. Winning isn't everything. I regret that I did not get A SINGLE PHOTO of any food this trip. It was a tremendous oversight on my part. We still ate, though!

I got my Reuben sandwich again for supper on Monday night, at River Bend Casino. It was not quite as delicious as the first time. I would have preferred my marble rye to be a bit more toasted. AND they were out of fries! Who runs out of fries? I guess the St. Patrick's Day crowd ate them all the day before we got there, celebrating the day St. Patrick ate all the fries out of River Bend Casino. I had tater tots in their place. Hick had his usual bacon cheeseburger. Sis had a giant chili dog. The Ex-Mayor, who must be on a health kick, ordered the same bacon cheeseburger as Hick, but without a bun. That was his mistake. His bacon cheeseburger arrived with only a burger and cheese.

Let the record show that the Ex-Mayor stood up for his rights. He went back and demanded his fixin's. "I meant I only didn't want the BUN! I still want everything on my bacon cheeseburger! That includes the bacon, the lettuce, the onion, the pickle, and the tomato!" A girl brought him a little basket of these extras, which really were not extra. I told him the smart thing to do (since I'm a VALedictorian, you know) would have been to order the burger like normal, and then just take it off the bun. How hard is that?

Our next meal was breakfast on Tuesday, which we had at our hotel casino, Downstream. They have a breakfast buffet for $10.99, and three of us had a $10 food comp there. Hick had to pay, and is now more conscientious about using his player's card for future comps. I loaded up with my usual scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage (link and patty), triangular hash browns, and a muffin top. Top o' the muffin to ya!

Hick waited at the egg station to get over-easys. Which he promptly ruined by slathering them with gravy. I don't know when this became a thing, putting gravy on top of fried eggs. He also had some biscuits under there. And assorted meat, and a bowl of diced fruit which was gravy-less. The Ex-Mayor went mainly for the meats, a little bit of eggs, and a fruit bowl. He must be doing the Keto thing. I didn't ask, because I think it's rude to inquire about somebody else's food selections.

Sis is kind of persnickety. I really don't know where she gets it. She wanted to make herself a sausage biscuit. She was behind me at the buffet. As I reached the tongs into the sausage bin, Sis said, "Make sure you leave me a patty so I can make a sausage biscuit." There were only two patties remaining. I left her the one stuck in the crack on the side of the metal bin. There's a limit to HOW nice I can be to Sis.

We didn't get done with breakfast until after 10:00, so we really only needed one more meal that day. We call it lupper. I think it was around 3:30 when we scanned our cards at the kiosk inside The Outpost Casino, in order to qualify for the free lunch special (served between 11:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m.). Tuesday's special was Pulled Pork Sandwich and Onion Rings. I must say, it was delicious!

The only suggestion I might make would be a little more sauce on the pulled pork. Sis went back to ask for sauce, as did Hick (for me!). Of course Hick took the cup first, and poured it over his sandwich.

"Oh. I probably would have used the whole thing for myself."

"Well, I was afraid to ask for more than one."

"You went to pick up my sandwich when they called my name. So they KNEW you were here with someone else."

"I'm surprised we even got sauce. She acted like it was killing her to give it out. She only filled the cups half full," said Sis, pouring it all on her sandwich, and giving the cup to the Ex-Mayor to scrape his onion rings around the edge.

Wednesday morning, we arose in different hotels. Sis and the Ex-Mayor bypassed breakfast, to stop somewhere on the trip home. Hick and I went to the buffet at Indigo Sky. I had a $10 food comp, and Hick had $5. It was $7.99, so we only had to pay a couple bucks. Their buffet is in a small room off the dining room, and the foods are in metal pans with raise-up lids. So you don't quite know what you're getting until you open it up. I confess to dropping a biscuit on the floor. I just kicked it back out of the way of trampling feet, since there was no worker around to tell. Hick picked it up and put it on the table between the metal serving pans. I think that was a mistake. Somebody might have grabbed it to eat!

I had the scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, a biscuit with gravy, and a cheese danish. Hick had pretty much the same thing, except no danish, and he went back for a plate of pancakes. We'll probably eat there again the next time we stay. It was better than I expected.

More on other aspects of the trip tomorrow. You're getting CasinoPalooza-ed this week instead of Hick Housed.

Hick House Downstairs: Master Bedroom 03-14-19

If you've ever had a desire to spend the night in a haunted house, you might appreciate the master bedroom of Hick House. Oh, it's not haunted. Not that I KNOW OF! It just has that look. I most certainly wouldn't want to spend a night there. Not in its current condition. Not even if the alternative means spending a night, like countless others, in my own dark basement lair, where the unexplainable happens.

Here's the master bedroom, as it appeared on March 1, a few days after we purchased (still nothing on paper like a contract!) Hick House.

Maybe it was used as an office by the original owner, who was a newspaper sports reporter. Or maybe Hick and HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) moved the desk in there from elsewhere. This picture was taken from the doorway that is by the new bathroom, and the kitchen. On the right of the photo is the door leading to the entryway and front door. I think that's the original front door leaning against the wall. That other opening, on the left, is a little door that leads to the area under the stairs.

Looking from the archway between this master bedroom and the living room, you see the outer wall, with a window (that will be replaced with a better window). That doorway leads to the now-created short hallway between the new bathroom and kitchen.

Here's the most recent photo of the master bedroom, taken March 14, as I stood in the kitchen door by the new bathroom. As you can see, the master bedroom is Hick's workroom. HOS and his wife will not be sleeping on twin sawhorse beds!

I think the ceiling has collapsed a bit more. Or else HOS has been picking at it, to see what's above. That ceiling will have to be completely replaced. Hick was thinking about renting a special hydraulic jack that lifts drywall, so he and HOS won't have to handle it on ladders. He said that by using a jack, he can get 10-foot sheets of drywall, and have very little trimming to do, rather than the 8-foot sheets.

However... HOS said a couple days ago that he has a buddy who is demolishing a house in Backroads, who says HOS can have a drop ceiling if he comes and takes it down. That might be the new plan.

Hick and HOS put up some siding this weekend, on the triangle part of the house above the front porch. Hick also drove 90 miles round-trip with This Guy to get a free door from This Guy's brother. Progress on Hick House continues.

Hick House Downstairs: Kitchen 03-21-19

The minute I typed up the last kitchen update on Hick House, it was already obsolete. HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) has been doing some work on it at night, which Hick sees the next day. He's becoming a miser with the pictures, though. Hick says there's not much new to see because the work they're doing right now is not all that observable. Still, I can show you part of the kitchen.

Here's the wall of the kitchen where Hick and HOS covered the flue. That door goes into the living room. HOS finished the drywall at the top of the flue, and put up the flooring that Hick used for paneling around the kitchen counter. The corner with a gap is going to have trim board on it. HOS still has another coat to apply to the ceiling, and paint touch-ups to do.

Here's the kitchen sink and counter area. I assure you, the paint is the same as on the other wall, it just looks different here from the lighting and Hick's phone camera. I know some people might recoil at that color, but Hick is using paint he already had, and that came from the accent wall Genius painted in his bedroom a while back. I am not an impartial observer, since green is my favorite color!

HOS has cleaned up the built-in cabinets, and is painting them white, with gray accents (like the door and window trim). He's only got a base coat on that one cabinet door in this photo. There will be a little wall to close in the gap between the built-ins and the tall cabinet. The bottom of the wall on the right is going to have paneling. Hick and HOS want to do an industrial theme, and make it metal, like roofing metal. I'm guessing it will be silver, but it comes in all colors, and Hick hasn't specified. This will also go on the wall behind the stove and refrigerator.

The living room has been painted eggshell white.

It looks gray to me, but Hick says that's just the lighting. He said the paint covered the old stuff really well.

I keep putting off the master bedroom reveal. There's a reason for that, as you will see. Perhaps tomorrow.

CENT From Above, Just For Val on CasinoPalooza 4

MONDAY morning, Hick and I left for CasinoPalooza 4. We didn't take our regular route, because we had a check I wanted to deposit at the bank. Because of that, we stopped by a Casey's over in the neighborhood of my sister the ex-mayor's wife. Hick changed his mind about gassing up A-Cad there, but I used the opportunity for a bathroom break before hitting the rural roads for an hour before our next stop. And also to buy Hick and myself a scratcher.

As with all events where Hick is around, I was discombobulated to be out of my routine, and left my phone in A-Cad when I went inside. Of course the minute I walked in, I saw a DIME! I picked it up, even with no picture to prove it happened. No sooner had I started down the sidewalk outside on the way to A-Cad than I saw a PENNY laying in my path. I picked it up, too, and took a picture of my special coins laying on the seat of A-Cad.

The dime was face-down, a 2015. The penny was also face-down, a 2019. I was pretty happy to start CasinoPalooza 4 on such a good note. Normally, we'd have met Sis and the Ex-Mayor about 20 miles up the road, in a different town. That check, which I got to the bank at 12:00 on Saturday, AFTER they'd locked the door, had put us in this location on this day. Oh, yeah. Hick won $25 on his scratcher, too.

CasinoPalooza was a three-day affair. We stayed at Downstream Casino on Monday night, but then Hick and I had to change to Indigo Sky for Tuesday night, because Hick didn't use his player's card enough on our Christmas trip with the boys to get a free night at Downstream like the rest of us.

We'd all been riding around to the assorted casinos in A-Cad on Monday. Hick used the valet service at Downstream. The Ex-Mayor had not used valet, but had parked his Expedition in the regular parking lot after dropping off Sis and the bags. As we checked out on TUESDAY morning, Hick got A-Cad and loaded up our luggage and drove over to the parking lot. We still had some playing to do to earn a free soft-side cooler. Then we all walked to the parking lot when we were ready to head out for different casinos. Sis and the Ex-Mayor wanted to get their coats out of their car, so Hick had parked near it.

We walked up to A-Cad, parked totally randomly by Hick, a row over, and 6-7 spaces down from Sis's Expedition. And there it was...

A PENNY, obviously meant just for ME, since it was laying right where I'd step on it getting into the door. Well. I must say, even Hick and Sis were kind of impressed. "Mom knows what we're doing," said Sis. I tend to agree.

This was a 2014, face-down. Of course I picked it up!

A couple casinos later, we were at Buffalo Run, in Miami, Oklahoma. I had just left Sis sitting at a slot, telling her I felt like going over to play Dancing Drums. There are three Dancing Drums in a row. I chose the one on the right end, by the wall. As I pulled out the chair, something caught my eye.

It was a NICKEL, under my Dancing Drum. Which, I might add, gave me a bonus. As did the one on the other end. Not a rich-making bonus, but still, a fun bonus.

The nickel was face-down, a 1983. I don't know what a nickel was doing over here. The slots don't take coins, only paper money or tickets, and the cash-out machine was in the opposite corner of the casino from this slot. Nobody came away from CasinoPalooza 4 with a profit, but every little coin helps.
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And... our last-minute, stop-the-presses coin joined the penny party on SATURDAY at 11:27 a.m., a scant hour and 43 minutes before the scheduled posting of Val's weekly Saturday CENTus.

It was unmissable, gleaming at me there in the leftover anti-slick gravel left from the last freezing rain storm. I must confess, I sometimes do not want to find a coin on Saturdays, since they require extra work to stop the presses on my already-scheduled post.


No way was I going to overlook this face-down 1994 road-coin! It was meant for me, and I was going to harvest it, by cracky!

I'll never top last week's total, but 27 cents in one week is nothing to sneeze at!
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2019 Running Total
Penny   # 45, 46.
Dime    # 5, 6.
Nickel  # 5.
Quarter  still at 1.

2018 TOTALS
Penny  131
Dime  17
Nickel  6
Quarter  1

2017 TOTALS (Started in March, 2017)
Penny  78
Dime   6
Nickel  0
Quarter  0
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