Even Steven Needs to Spread the Calamities Around

The Pony is not a hog. He will gladly give up some of the recent calamities Even Steven has steered his way. No need to have more than his fair share. As if Tuesday's dog bite on the rumpus wasn't enough for the week, The Pony had a bad Thursday. It started before work.

"Pulled a spider out of my hair in the shower. Great start to the day. Ugh."

"Noooo!"

I choked back my urge to share information about how many spiders the average person swallows in a year. At least The Pony's dog bite was looking better. For a day-and-a-half of healing. Hardly any bruising. I guess that dog couldn't get a good grip, with the location being barely on the rumpus proper, where it joins the upper thigh.

Sadly, a hair spider was not the extent of The Pony's misfortune that day. I got another text when The Pony got home at 5:18.

"Today was not my day. Overbalanced while carrying a 50-pound big package, fell, and busted up my knee. Again!"

"Noooo! I'm so sorry! Want me to look for some new tights/long underwear for you?"

"Nah, I've got a good rotation even if this pair is now deeply bloodstained and another has a dog hole in the ass."

"A phrase I was happily ignorant of until a few seconds ago!"

"Hey, I don't know what else to call the teeth holes."

Once cleaned up at home, the wound itself didn't look too bad. By the next morning, the knee was swollen like it had two kneecaps.

"What kind of package was it? A bag of something? A box?"

"It was an awkward box. As tall as from my waist to the top of my head. I was walking down a slight incline, and it pulled me over. The box said it contained a child's playset. 

A table and four chairs."

Anyhoo... The Pony is surviving. Sunday, I asked if he'd talked to the people with the dog.

"No, I haven't seen them. But they're usually not outside. Funny thing, their RING doorbell is suddenly inactive."

"Of course! They had to destroy any evidence of their dog with its teeth in your butt! Are they that kind of people?"

"I don't think so, no. But it's odd that all at once their RING doesn't work."

"At least that bite isn't hurting you too much."

"Yeah. The knee is worse. It was cold that day, and I rolled up that pants leg to expose it to the coolness. Also, because sometimes people at the end of the route get all pissy if their mail is running late, and that way I could just point to the bloody knee as if 

'THIS is the reason!'"

That's our little Pony, plodding on in the face of calamity.