Now that the Double Hovel Flip House(s) project is complete, Hick has a little free time. That's not good! He needs another project! He's been coming home early in the afternoon. It doesn't really bother me, like having him underfoot. He doesn't kick back in the recliner and watch Gunsmoke reruns for the 20th time. He spends time outside doing things, then gets in POOLIO.
THAT'S the problem! The outside things. When I left for town a few days ago, Hick had SilverRedO parked up at the end of the driveway. He was standing behind the truck, doing something around our address sign. It's a little metal pole in a ring of bricks, with a metal plate hanging from it with the numbers and our street name. Except the numbers are the stick-on reflective kind you get at Walmart, and they've faded over the years.
Anyhoo... as I got closer, I saw FLAMES! Flames shooting out of some device that Hick was holding, pointing at the base of the sign.
"WHAT are you doing??? Is that a FLAMETHROWER?"
"Yeah. A flamethrower. I'm burning up the weeds. I did that over at the Flip House. I burned those dead weeds in the fence, where I had sprayed the poison on them."
No, I didn't ask for more specifics. Sometimes, it's better not to know... Like when Hick volunteered the following information a day later:
"You know when you went to town yesterday? I decided to use my flamethrower on some more weeds. So I was down by our carport, burning the weeds--"
"Along your white plastic fence? Where you put that mailbox for packages that none of the delivery drivers will use?"
"Yeah. There. And I set that yucca plant on fire! It blazed up! I had to run get three buckets of water to put it out!"
"Where did you get a bucket?"
"I had one, hanging on the well spigot. From when I used to water the animals. I had to make three trips with it!"
"Well, I can imagine how fast that was... you're lucky you didn't burn the house down!"
"Maybe."
The Pony and I are actively looking for another house suitable for flipping.
My husband is also a person who cannot just relax. He is always doing something in the yard or garage. Maybe you'll luck out on finding him another flip.
ReplyDeleteSo you understand how much "happier" they are when they have a project going!
DeleteWe saw one yesterday that had just been listed two days ago. Hick (if he remembers) is going to drive by today. The pictures made it look feasible. We'll probably wait until the Double Hovel sells, though. So it might get snapped up by somebody else. That's okay. Another one will come along...
People have actually burned their house down with those things! I would not want him using it around the house!
ReplyDeleteI was not consulted!
DeleteLOL!
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me you were not shocked...
DeleteHe has a flamethrower?? Oh dear.....
ReplyDeleteLet the record show that Hick BORROWED the flamethrower from his buddy where he spends Friday afternoons shooting the bull with several cronies.
Delete