Still Pretty Sure That My Imminent Demise Is Being Attempted By Hick

Thursday morning at 9:30, I was sitting on the short couch, minding my own business, watching People Puzzler and writing my weekly letter to Genius. The dogs started barking in a frenzy. Their STRANGER bark, like when UPS or FedEx shows up. The only package I'm expecting was due to arrive between Friday and Monday. Still, I hoisted my rumpus off the couch, and hobbled to the door. By the time I got there, the barking had transferred from in front of the house over to the Shackytown Boulevard area.

Looking out, I saw the tails of all three dogs (well, Scarlett's stub tail was not quite visible at that distance) raised like flags as they proceeded down Shackytown Boulevard to the BARn field. Parked by Hick's burn pile was a two-tone brown Chevy pickup.

A MAN WAS WALKING ACROSS THE FIELD! AS I WATCHED, HE LEANED OVER TO GRAB HICK'S JUNK!

What in the Not-Heaven??? I closed the door and went to get my phone to call Hick.

"Is anybody supposed to be over in the BARn field right now?"

"No. Not that I know of. There shouldn't be."

"There's a guy in a brown truck parked by your burn pile, and he's walking over by your junk pile."

"Go ask him what he's doing?"

"Really? Are you sure? I can't walk over there. I'm here by myself. The dogs are going crazy."

"Just yell from the door, and see what he does."

"Okay..."

So off I went to the front door, my holey sweatpants falling down, to holler: "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE?"

The guy yelled something I couldn't understand, because of the dogs barking. Of course that made Jack and Scarlett run over to jump on me at the porch, while Copper Jack the neighbor dog followed along behind the guy who was WALKING TOWARDS ME!

Guy was wearing camouflage pants, and a brownish-gray t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. That itself might strike fear into city-dwellers, but it's almost a redneck uniform around here. As he got closer to the porch, Guy said:

"Hick told me I could burn my copper out here."

"Oh. Well. I just talked to him, and he said nobody was supposed to be over there. So I'm just trying to find out what's going on."

"Yeah. I'm the one who fixed your water leak by the well, and finished Hick's brick sidewalk over there. And he said when I wanted to, I could burn my copper."

"Well... I guess that's all right."

"Here. This is probably him now. Yeah. I'm out here, and talking to her right now."

Indeed. Guy's phone DID ring. He said it was Hick. So I said I was sorry for the trouble, but just wanted to know who he was.

I went back inside. The dogs, now best friends with Guy, followed him quietly back to the burn pile. I called Hick.

"Yeah. I forgot I told him he could burn the copper. It was a while back. He didn't tell me he was coming today. But it's fine."

"I really wish you would tell me these things, before I have a heart attack, or embarrass myself yelling at somebody like a crazy woman, holding up my pants with one hand, and fighting off the dogs with the other."

"Yeah. I should have told you. But it's okay."

That's what HE says...