Monday, April 17, 2017

Val Takes You To the Edge...and Leaves You Danglin'

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Today I headed off to town to meet my favorite gambling aunt for lunch. We decided on Pizza Hut, because it's close for both of us. I had the Personal Pan supreme, and she had a steaming bowl of pasta with red sauce. And chocolate chip cookies. Auntie always has the chocolate chip cookies, and takes some home with her. I, myself, resisted the temptation. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We were supposed to meet at 11:00, but I left early to mail my DISH bill at the main post office hub. I only got it Saturday, but it seems to take an inordinately long time to be credited to my account. I can't be having my internet slowed down, you know! After the post office I went by the bank for our weekly cash allowance, and then I planned to stop for gas and pick up some lottery tickets. I had some winners burning a hole in T-Hoe's console. Can't let those things go stale, by cracky!

Of course while I'm out doing something, rather than sitting idly on my rumpus in my dark basement lair perusing conspiracy theory websites...people want to communicate with me. Today it was Genius and The Pony. Genius wanted to share that his Solar Car fundraiser is now at 79% of its goal. Yay, Genius! The Pony bemoaned the fact that EVERYBODY is getting sick. I was a bit worried, since he texted me on Thursday that he was up all night coughing, and was going to pick up some OTC cough medicine on the way to class.

"Are you okay?"

"Still kind of snotty, but I caught it and got over it sooner than everybody else, I think.
I might have been a vector of infection."

That's chemistry major talk for you, I guess.

Anyhoo...on my way back through town to get gas before getting pizza, I saw that my time was running out. I didn't want Auntie to have to wait on me, because she was taking her little dog to the vet for some routine maintenance. Besides, that town SMELLED LIKE GAS! Natural gas. I had noticed it on the way to the post office, but it was REALLY strong on the way back. Surely somebody had reported that. That's why they put that smelly chemical in it--so people WILL notice and report it. There's a middle school just up a side street. Nobody wants kids blown to smithereens. I saw a car in front of me pull off to the side of the road and the driver pull out a cell phone. Maybe he was calling. Still...I didn't want to be pumping gas in case a spark set off an explosion. So I went on another mile to Pizza Hut. Like I would be safe there.

Auntie and I got to talking about old times, and the upcoming Casinopalooza 2 she will miss for a knee replacement. She said she had to go in Walmart after taking her dog to the vet, because the stray kittens she had taken in and was keeping in her spare bedroom had shredded the curtains. I told her that I had planned on getting gas, but the smell of gas was making me reconsider.

"I can always go tomorrow. I don't really NEED it today. I try to keep the tank over half full. I can wait."

"Why don't you just get it somewhere else?"

"I ALWAYS get it there. They have the super. The one in my town doesn't, but Hick is always buying gas there for the Acadia when we go on our trips. I won't, though."

"My car won't run on Casey's gas. It coughs."

"Mine is fine with it."

"Oh, and you always get lottery tickets. You are the luckiest person with those tickets!"

"I AM pretty lucky. In fact, I was going to get some when I got gas. I still can't decide."

We finished up our gossip, lunch being long gone, and headed our separate ways. I figured I'd go see if the gas smell was still strong. If not, I could take the lake road right across from Casey's back home, and try again tomorrow. Lucky for me, the gas smell WAS gone.

But you'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out the extent of my luck.

Don't get all excited. I'm not quitting my day job. Oh, wait...



13 comments:

  1. I know that smell, in New Jersey we call it fresh air.

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    1. Heh, heh! You probably get a whiff, clink a toast with your dirty-water cocktails, and head on down to hang out at the DMV, where the workers are always polite.

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  2. Oh, for cryin' out loud, I haven't been to your blog for ages because of my laborin' in the hot sun, packin' boxes and such (*takin' a nap) and you leave me in suspense. What kinda deal is that? Harrumph.

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    1. I did it FOR you! So you can take a break tomorrow to find out the ending. I'm only looking out for your best interests, you know.

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  3. Val--Your day job these days... isn't it waiting on Hick, peeling grapes for him, cutting his sandwiches into tiny finger sandwiches, folding the end of the toilet paper roll into a sharp-looking triangle, fanning the air around him with giant fan... in other words, treating Hick like a king?

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    1. My day job these days is...waiting for Hick to leave, peeling his banana peels out of the La-Z-Boy cushions, using toilet paper to wipe his essence off the back of the toilet seat, trying to stifle the air emitted by his giant breather...in other words, treating the affliction rather than curing it.

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    2. Was all this included in the prenup?

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  4. So was it a FAMILY of dead skunks that tried to escape the dead mouse smelling post office? I called in a gas smell once and they told the school it was sewer gas. Next day Laclede Gas had the street torn up for massive gas leak. trust your nose.

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    1. This smell was unmistakably leaking natural gas. I'm pretty sure someone who lived around there called it in way before I went through. And that guy who pulled over, too. At least it was gone after lunch.

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  5. Do you mean to say you still smell gas after leaving the station? Could you have a leak somewhere?

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    1. Not T-Hoe's fault! Definitely natural gas, not gasoline, not Hick's silent but deadly emissions from the front porch last evening. Even Jack tucked his tail on that one, and trotted away until the miasma cleared.

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  6. Be that way! I sometimes think of my blog as a run-on sentence!

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    1. I try to randomly toss in assorted punctuation...the ellipse being my favorite...to keep people on their toes. Otherwise, mine would be all one sentence, too!

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