I am in a state of confusion. Yesterday I read a story about a three-year-old boy who rescued an elderly man who was locked inside his car on the church parking lot.
Yeah. How can a man get locked INSIDE a car? He said the automatic-locker-thingy had been malfunctioning. But that does not explain how the preacher was able to open the car door from the outside. Also, why was a three-year-old running around by himself? I read that story over and over, trying to make sense of it, but I cannot. You can give it a try here.
I was almost certain I was missing something in the story. You see, I have been a bit lax in my concentration lately.
I swear I read a headline that said: "Sandra Bullock Comes Face to Face With Shark After She Saw Him Stood Outside Her Bedroom Door." Okay. Major problem. The first thing I had an issue with was the "stood" part. Really? Shouldn't that have been "standing" instead? I chalked it up to coming from the UK Daily Mail. They talk funny in their writing over there. Then it hit me that what was "stood" outside her door was a shark! Dang! Where does Sandra Bullock live, anyway? Get back from the coast, girl! There was even a picture, like a split-screen kind of thing. Nobody was actually there when it happened, to capture Sandy and the shark in one frame. How wacky would THAT have been? So I looked at the photo, and I said to myself, "Val, that is NOT a shark. That's a man. What's a man doing where a shark should be?" So I read the headline again. Oh. It didn't say "shark" stood outside her bedroom door. It said "stalker" stood outside her bedroom door.
Well. You can imagine my surprise when I discovered that little slip of the eyeball.
And just before that little shark/stalker incident, I was reminiscing with The Pony about his three-week sojourn at Missouri Scholars Academy. The Pony had a stack of flyers that were given out each evening, listing the activities to choose from during free time the next afternoon. Some were quite interesting.
"Look at this one! Making Ethiopian paper heads! I'll bet that one was interesting. Did you do that one?"
"Um. That says BEADS. Not heads. Making Ethiopian paper beads. That's a little different. I did not go to that one."
Huh. I guess there's nothing left to say but, "Nevermind."
A little Gilda in the evening?
ReplyDeleteSioux and I were thinking along the same lines. Remember the old Saturday Night Live routine about the land shark? Still makes me laugh, and I'm terrified of sharks.
ReplyDeleteI guess I can no longer use your "Stupid Headline" suggestions.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a wild week, so I am just catching up on your blog, and laughing myself silly!
ReplyDeleteI entertained my child as we drove south with my mis-readings of signs and billboards. My readings were more fun than what the signs actually read. My daughter did instruct me to get my eyes checked again.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteYes. I've found that a little Gilda works at any time of day.
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Stephen,
You know, when I read that Sandra Bullock saw a shark stood outside her door, that's the next thing I thought of after questioning the grammar of the UK Daily Mail. Of course, I knew it wasn't Chevy Chase, because nowhere in the article did it say that the shark said, "Candygram."
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joeh,
I think my Stupid Headline tips are reliable, because I send you the actual copied-and-pasted link so you can check out their validity. Heavens to Betsy! We would not want the stain of implausibility to ruin your brand.
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Linda,
The jury is still out on whether you were already silly, or if my posts made you that way.
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Kathy,
Ah...today's youth...so concerned with literacy and 20/20 vision.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who reads things incorrectly! HA!
ReplyDeleteImagine if we started a club of visually-challenged or inattentive readers. We would never know what each other was talking about, but we would nod and smile, thinking, "It's no stranger than that headline I just read today."
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