Thursday, April 10, 2014

I Shall Be the Last Comedian Standing...Even if it Means I Have to Gillooly My Opponent

Sometimes, Hick thinks he's a real comedian.

I sent him a text this afternoon, about the time he leaves work for home. I was stuck at school waiting for The Pony's academic practice to end. Hick called me back. I figured he was driving, because that man is a texting fool. How he does it at all with those stubby fingers and thumbs is beyond me.

So I sent him that text, just to check on him. You never know when he might suddenly forget to breathe in and breathe out. Or forget the way home. He's for sure not asking directions, so I try to practice preventative Hick maintenance. Who's gonna pry the goat heads out of the fence if Hick forgets to perform his activities of daily life?

"Have you left yet?"

"Yes. I'm almost to Backroads. I'm going to get my shot."

"Oh. We haven't left yet. You might beat us home."

"Yeah. I might."

"Do you have school tomorrow?"

Hick giggled like a schoolgirl. "Noooo...Val. I don't have school tomorrow."

"I mean do you have WORK tomorrow! The Pony said you were taking off. And to me, school IS work."

"Yes, I'm taking the day off Friday so I won't have to work Saturday, because I want to go to The Pony's district academic meet."

Hmpf! Hick knew darn-tootin' what I meant! Of course he doesn't have school. If Hick had school, he would be in detention most of the time for his shenanigans. Like the time he set a fire in the wastebasket in the back of the vo-tech bus. "But Val...we didn't have any heat. We were cold. So we decided we'd make out OWN heat, by cracky! I got several days out of school for that one. We didn't have a phone, and my dad was blind, and my mom was in the I just got up every morning and went and sat in the woods until time to go home. Good thing the cold snap was over!"

That's my Hick. The sooner he learns that this family can have only ONE comedian, that being me...the better off his life will be. In the meantime, he might want to pick up some knee pads at the auction.


  1. Oh that Gillooly - Why Me!! Why mee!

  2. Gillooly? Do I have to google it to find out what that is?

  3. Hick is entertaining. Why I'll bet he had 'em all hootin' and hollerin' in his school days.

  4. I haven't thought of Gillooly in years, and I believe he and Tanya Harding were both from my state of Oregon. I think he changed his name and moved away.

  5. joeh,
    Don't let this out, but that whole "WHYYYYYY?" act made me want to whack her again.

    No. I will be your BFF today in place of Google. Jeff Gillooly was figure skater Tonya Harding's ex-husband, who planned the leg-whack attack on her most formidable opponent, Nancy Kerrigan, at the 1994 U.S. Figure Skating Championships. The whacker was whack, and Kerrigan's leg was not broken, only bruised, and she was still picked to compete in the 1994 Lillehammer Olympics with Harding.

    I would say that is a safe bet.

    I can't believe you haven't thought of Gillooly daily! Even as his new alias, Stone. I always preferred Harding to Kerrigan, because Harding was a scrapper, and Kerrigan was a whiner. Sure, some will say that Harding whined to the judges every competition about some major malfunction of equipment, or traffic on the way to the arena. But this was actually her way of scrapping with the judges. She could hardly threaten to kick their collective rumpuses, which was her true style.