Hick and I really don't speak the same language. He ASSumes I will known certain construction terminology, but I refuse to let him make a rumpus out of me. I have to mount an offensive before he has a chance to declare: "You don't know nothin!"
Hick came in Monday afternoon and started jawing and thrusting money and a receipt at me before I could put down my lucky scratching quarter.
"Here's the receipt from Lowe's. It's got stuff from Lap House and Bargain House. The paint is for Lap House and the screws are for Bargain House. This is money for my stuff that will be on the Lowe's and Menards bill when they come." [It was $1294.00 in cash!]
Then Hick walked off! The receipt was 18 inches long, and he draped it across HIPPIE's keyboard. Only about a third of that receipt had items on it. Usually I don't get a receipt unless Hick uses cash. And the Lowe's statement does not have itemized prices. Only the total for each day's transaction, and a list of merchandise without individual prices.
This means I have to figure out which items went to which flip, and record the costs for each, to use for tax purposes, and to determine our asking price when we are ready to sell the flip houses. Plus, I have to decide which merchandise was for Hick's side jobs like the senior apartments, or his SUS2.5. The latter which also is needed for his business taxes.
"Hey! Wait a minute. Is this receipt for cash you spent? Or the debit card?"
"Nooo. I put it on the Lowe's card."
"So when I get the Lowe's bill, it will have these charges for both flip houses, AND stuff you bought to use for something else?"
"Yeah."
"So you're just giving me the receipt so I will know the price of what went with each house?"
"Yeah."
"How am I supposed to know? I can't tell what you bought! What's a 1/2 CAT OSB SHEATHING? Or what's a LG JAR PWRPRO INT 90X3?"
"I told you the paint is for Lap House, and the screws are for Bargain House!"
"You come back here! Take this receipt. Use a pen, and put an X by stuff belonging to one house, and I'll know the rest is for the other house."
"You always have to make everything so hard!"
Well. I don't think I'M the one making things so hard. I just want to keep accurate records. Hick marked the receipt for me.
Hick even made a key for me at the top, showing that X was for Lap House, and O was for Bargain House. Not to be confused with Hick giving kisses to the first, and hugs to the other! I'm not lovin' this system, but now that I've forced Hick to clarify expenses, I can figure it out when the monthly statement gets here.
I can see that "flat base" and "gloss black" are paint, since I have done painting myself and daughter and first hubby painted the interior of one of our house, plus his father was a master painter/decorator, properly licensed and much in demand. But the rest is Greek to me so I'm glad Hick gave you a code. Now all he needs to learn to do is decode before he hands you a receipt.
ReplyDeleteBaby steps! I'm thrilled that Hick wrote down a code for me after being pressured into it.
DeleteAt first glance I thought Hick was getting romantic. My guy's grammar is as good as your guys and it gives me the Willys, but I don't know nothing neither and he always says, "I seen it."
ReplyDeleteI'm used to Hick's way of talking, but I'll never get used to being told that I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'! I'm a former VALedictorian, you know. So of course I know SOMETHING!
Deleteour g-daughter cleaned out the car for us today. She found a pile of fast food rec'ts and multiple packets of condiments. Lots of other stuff., but these amazed her.
ReplyDeleteI once found a McDonald's cheeseburger under the second seat in our minivan. It had to be at least a year old. It was perfectly preserved in the wrapper. Like a mummified cheeseburger. We never figured out which boy was one cheeseburger short of a Happy Meal.
DeleteI thought he might be offering to play tic-tac-toe!
ReplyDeleteI think I could beat him!
Delete