I Suppose It's a Job for Somebody Who Is Not a People Person

Remember a couple weeks ago, when I was surrounded by Amazon delivery vans, when I'd never heard of them or seen one before? My package arrived at just the right time, as I was coming up the driveway. That's when I noticed the lack of joy in the deliveryperson.

It's taken me nine days, but I FINALLY realized who that Amazon Driver reminded me of: OTTO, the school bus driver on The Simpsons. He looked exactly like Otto, but with his long bushy black hair pulled back in a neck-nape ponytail.

As I sat in T-Hoe's driver's seat, parked off the driveway in my front yard, I thought Otto might bring that package over to me. That's what I would have done, if I was an Amazon Driver, and a car came up the driveway and pulled off into the yard while I was getting the package out of my van. I'd walk over and ask, "Did you order something?" And hand them the package. Saving myself a walk across the concrete carport, gravel driveway, Hick-laid brick sidewalk, and steps to the porch. Just hand it to the person and be done. I don't think Amazon takes a picture of their delivery like FedEx. I didn't get one.

Anyhoo... Otto glanced at me, then awkwardly, stepping over Jack and dodging Pepper's playful gamboling, walked my small bag of three vitamin bottles to front door and set it down. Walked back to his white Amazon van and got in. Not acknowledging me at all.

As Otto drove past me on the gravel driveway, I gave the lifted-finger wave, and a thank-you nod. Otto wouldn't look at me! He appeared to be silently fuming! His cheeks were flushed. His hair looked extra-wiry. As if I had annoyed him by coming home to see the delivery!

Maybe Otto just does not like his job. More likely, just does not like to work. He was definitely Gen Z. The kind I see out and about sometimes, who would rather slither through a door and let it close on his shirttail rather than give it an extra push for the person on his heels. The thought of actually holding it open for somebody would be as alien as deciphering a rotary phone or an analog clock.

I really wanted Otto to know that I appreciated his delivery, but he was having none of it.