Val Is the Rodney Dangerfield of Casino Patrons

Val is the Rodney Dangerfield of old people casino patrons. She don't get no respect.

On Monday evening, we met up front at the casino at 5:00 to descend upon the FREE buffet like a quartet of starving locusts. We'd eaten a light lunch of pizza, you know, to save room for this FREE feast. Okay, sure, it was pizza, but only a couple pieces each, and it wasn't a pan pizza or Chicago deep dish or anything, just from the Walmart deli. So you know there wasn't a whole lot of topping on there, even thought it was a meats pizza.

Anyhoo...we had our cards scanned at the entrance to the buffet, signed our individual receipts, fanned our hands under the automatic hand sanitizer dispenser, and were shown to a tiny table near the buffet. In fact, it was only one table over from the table we had last month. Just across the main walkway. However...this was a square table for four. And last month, we had two of those square tables pushed together as a rectangle. With two chairs on each long side. Whereas our tiny square table had a chair on each of the four sides.

I claimed the chair with my back to the room, and facing the brick wall that started the food bar spreading out to the left. My sister the ex-mayor's wife was on my right, the ex-mayor on my left, and Hick across from me. We stood a minute, marking our territory, laying down our receipts, and then headed to fill our plates.

I had loaded mine up with Orange Chicken, a tiny spoonful of rice, a mini eggroll, a piece of fried chicken, half a baked potato wrapped in foil, some pulled pork, and a dinner roll. I daresay I might have tried the chicken and dumplings, too, if I'd had more room on the plate. In any case, I took it back to our table, with the intention of setting it down, and wandering around the dessert bar to scope out my selection for later.

When I got back to our table, I was confused. You know ol' Val isn't a wizard at spatial tasks, like finding her way out of Dillards at the Battlefield Mall in Springfield in the '80s. I could have sworn I was at the right table, but there was a PLATE at my seat. Huh. I stood there, confused. But here came Sis! "What's wrong?"

"Well, I wanted to make sure this was our table. But I think Hick has put his plate in MY place. It looks like the kind of food he'd get."

"Move it."

"No. I'll just set mine down here beside it."

The waitress came out with our drinks, and was confused by our rearrangement. Thank goodness we had two Diet Cokes, a Sprite, and an iced tea. I went on my dessert tour, and when I returned, Hick was standing there looking at the table.

"Why did you put your plate in my spot?"

"Oh. I was confused."

"Well, take it, and sit over there!" See? I don't get no respect. Even though I'd claimed that chair like Ponce de Leon claiming Florida for Spain...Hick had attempted a takeover.

The Ex-Mayor showed up, and Hick told him, "I think she put your tea at my chair." So we all swapped out the drinks to get them right. Dinner was tasty. Even more so, because it was FREE!!! Oh, yeah. I had some sheet cake that tasted like shortcake, with chocolate ice cream on the side, for dessert. We left a tip, even though mathematically the percent would have been $0, since we paid nothing for our meals.

And now for another exhibit of my NO RESPECT...

The plan was to meet up front again at 7:00 so we could start home. I came out of the restrooms along the back wall. Or side wall. Somewhere not the entrance. I needed to cash out my ticket (it would have been tickets, but this machine only cashes ONE AT A TIME, so I had fed them all into one slot, and printed out a ticket for the total. I knew the general area of the cash machines, because I'd been there already twice, making change for myself from bigger bills.

OH! There was Sis! On the other side of the cash machine. Wait! She was done. Walking away as I got there.

"Sis! SIS! SIS!!!" On the last one, I cupped my hands alongside my mouth to make the sound carry. Seriously. She was only about 10 feet away.

"Oh. What are you doing?"

"Cashing out. Wait for me."

I turned to head for the cash machine. Got my money. Turned back to join up with Sis for the walk to the front. AND SHE WAS GONE! What in the Not-Heaven? I went to stand at the last place I saw her. Walked around the slot kiosk in the direction she was headed. Looked down several off-shoots of not-aisles. No Sis. I started towards the front. Or so I thought. But I ended up in the area of that PROMOTIONS empty stage. So I went back. Towards the front. I hoped. But HERE was the cash machine I'd thought I was at just a minute ago, which had really been a smaller cash machine than this set of 6 that I'd used earlier in the day. Huh. I thought I knew how to get up front from there. But I ended up over by the beverage station. And then followed the wall up to the desk where you get your player's card.

From there, I could see Hick and Sis and the Ex-Mayor standing at a kiosk of slots at the entrance.

"Thanks a lot. I said to wait for me!"

Hick glanced over his shoulder. "I'm not taking the blame for THIS one!"

"No. I saw Sis back there at the cash machine, and told her to wait for me. So we could walk up here together. You've been waiting on me because I was LOST!"

"WHAT? I though you were just hollering at me. To mess with me, and make me turn around."

Yeah. Right. That's what everybody does at a strange casino at meet-up time, right?
I don't get no respect. At least they didn't leave without me.