Lift a Glass and Drink a Toast, to the Man Who Cannot Change His Stripes, and Refuses to Hide Behind a Mask

Just when you think he can't get any more eccentric, can't buy anything stranger than a stuffed zebra...

and freaky metal masks...

Hick goes and buys himself some chocolate beer. And cherry, too, I think. This picture in the back of Hick's Trailblazer does not do it justice. Because it's a picture taken by Hick.

Oh, he's not going to drink it! He's going to SAVE it! Display it! Where nobody sees it but himself. I suppose there are worse vices. He could be DRINKING it, and falling off the wagon every night. Even though he's not ON the wagon. He also bought himself a big ol' bottle of...uh...some kind of whiskey. Jameson, maybe. I don't think it's unusual. Don't know why he bought it. That bottle has been sitting next to a half empty (or as Hick would see it, half FULL) bottle of...um...some other kind of whiskey (I'd be a terrible eyewitness if somebody broke in here and stole them) on the kitchen counter for a couple of months.

A little online research showed that a gift pack like this of the cherry lager sold for $20. I also saw the chocolate lager gift pack for $17.99. Hick paid $10 apiece for them. One link showed something about the cherry lager in 2007. Surely they're not THAT old! I don't think they would be any good, do you? Of course, I doubt that Hick will drink them.

They're collector's items, you know...