Monday, September 25, 2017

Finders Gloaters, Losers...LOSERS! Now UPDATED!

Gird your loins, antipennyites! Today's tale is two-thirds pennies!

I hit the road this morning with 4 stops on the itinerary. Casey's, the bank, Walmart, and the gas station chicken store. Can you believe I didn't find a penny at any of them? It wasn't for lack of trying, that's for sure!

The gas station chicken store was OUT OF DIET COKE! Does anyone have a defibrillator?  We had one on the wall at school. But that won't help me in the gas station chicken store. I tried to calm my nerves by asking if they had the new scratchers released today. And the Man Owner said they did not! The truck hadn't come in yet today. Again, just to calm myself, mind you, I bought a $5 ticket and told him I was headed to his competitor for my magical elixir. I'm pretty sure he had visions of their counter being deluged by 42 oz of Diet Coke as I left.

Anyhoo...I headed over to Orb K, saw no pennies by my special parking place by the crooked water grate. Just as I was about to reach for the door handle, I saw one!


Right there by the trash can. A 1996 version. Sometimes it's hard to tell them from concrete stains. But I have a practiced eye, you know!


I took a picture of it, as you can see. A Young Millennial passed me, heading inside. Oh, she didn't hold the door for me! She was a Young Millennial, by cracky! Not thinking of others. 95% of people always hold the door for me, and I for them. But Young Millennial kind of shimmied inside. At least she didn't try to slam the door in my face. She WAS giving me the Weirdo Side-Eye. Yes. I used it enough myself that I am sure to recognize it being thrown my way.

Anyhoo...I went on to the soda fountain. The counter was pristine, having just been wiped. It's usually like a hog trough in there. I got my Diet Coke poured into my Polar Pop cup, and went to the counter. One lady was ahead of me, of course using plastic to pay, which takes SO LONG at Orb K, what with the lag time on their processing thingy. While waiting, I looked over the scratchers. No new ones here, but Orb K usually doesn't put them out the first day anyway. Losing interest, I cast my eyes sideways toward the other side of the counter, and saw ANOTHER PENNY! WooHoo! A two-penny day for Val!


I don't know what Orb K has done to their floor, but this section certainly isn't copper-colored right now. Or else I might not have seen that precious new member (2003) of my eventual pennyillionaire fortune.


The checker gave me a fearful look, like I might be an inspector or something. I paid the $.83 fee with four quarters, and she sent the change to me by way of the curvy metal register slide.

Yes, I was driving on air from Orb K to home. Quite pleased with my penny haul today. And then I switched the pictures over to my New Delly, and upon seeing them enlarged, noticed something that gave my stomach that flipsy-dipsy feeling like driving over hilly Missouri Highway 8 between Steelville and St. James.

Go back to that first photo of the garbage can. I can't get an enlarged section to post here. Look right above the penny, in the crease of the white garbage bag.

I MISSED A PENNY!

I could have had three today! I don't mean to sound greedy. I HAVE found 4 in one day. That's my record. But this penny was left here for me to find, and I spurned it! I wouldn't have found any of them if the gas station chicken store wasn't out of Diet Coke.

I feel like such a loser. But not as big a loser as THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE!

Yes, that's a bit of a jarring segway. I was going to put off this part for tomorrow, but I promised the antipennyites that there would be more here than pennies today.

Hick got a notice in the mail Saturday. An orange post card, telling him he had a letter that he needed to pick up at the post office. It had a tracking number. And it was from his old workplace. The one where he just retired two weeks ago. Or three now, I guess. It seems like years to me. But anyhoo...

All weekend, I quizzed Hick about that letter. The last time he got one was the summer before Genius was born, when he switched from his OLD old employer to start the company he just retired from. Four former employees left, with a backer on the east coast calling the shots, and got this company running. The letter that time was informing Hick that he was being sued for divulging company secrets. Don't you worry about Hick. The backer got all four factory-runners a high-powered lawyer, and nothing came of it.

"Why are they sending you a letter that you have to sign for? Are you in some kind of trouble? Did you steal something? Are you revealing company secrets again?"

"No, Val. If they thought I'd stole something, they wouldn't wait three weeks. They'd have sent to police to my door the next Monday, to search the house. It's probably something to do with my 401K money that we just took out. That last part that I left while they were still contributing."

"Oh. Yeah. Did you have a file there? Maybe with your licenses? Or medical information? Maybe they're sending that back. Or maybe something with COBRA."

"Yeah. It could be COBRA. They have to tell me in a certain amount of time. We'll just find out Monday."

Hick left home at 8:15 to get to the dead mouse smelling post office, which opens at 8:30. He called me later, and then told me the whole story after I got home with my pennies.

"They couldn't find my letter. First she shoved the card back at me and said, 'It says HERE that you can't pick it up until 10:00.' So I came back later, after noon, and they STILL couldn't find it. But it was her fault now, so she wasn't so hateful. 'Why don't you come back tomorrow? I haven't gone through the magazines yet. Maybe it's in with the magazines.'"

"Huh. I guess she hadn't READ other people's magazines yet. So you're going back?"

"NO! I told her, 'Why? That will be three trips for me to get my letter.' I saw they had a bunch of them stacked there, but mine wasn't in that pile. So I called work, and [REDACTED] said it was about COBRA. She was mad they couldn't find it. 'I paid SEVEN DOLLARS to send that letter!' she said."

"Well, here's what you got in our mailbox today. Another orange card. That says to pick up your letter tomorrow."

"Another card?"

"I'm pretty sure the weak link here is at the dead mouse smelling post office. The ones who allegedly delivered my debit chip card on Thursday, but I didn't get it until the next Tuesday. And the ones who put The Italian's eye care bill in our box Saturday, so I drove back and put it in his. They're such losers!"

I'm a little bit of a loser today. But still, I'm 2/3 a winner!
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These were pennies #36 and #37. Sorry,  #38. I bet you won't still be there tomorrow.
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***UPDATE***

So...I went back to Orb K, the scene of the forgotten penny, today (Tuesday) when I was in town. As I expected, the trash had been dumped. But lookee here!


I propose that the trash-dumper grabbed up the bag, allowing that penny to escape. And didn't bother to pick up the penny, because WHAT KIND OF IDIOT DOES THAT?

Here's a closer-up, though not a closeup.


It's definitely a penny. I picked it up, and once home, with my magnifying glass, determined that it was a 2000 version.

Blog buddy Bruce, in an attempt to assuage my grief, and stop me from kicking my own rumpus over leaving a penny behind...took a closer look at the original picture, and suggested that perhaps it was not a penny at all, but a button. I had the same doubts as I looked at my forgotten "penny" yesterday. It didn't look exactly like a penny, but it was the same size, and it was SO shiny! However, it DID appear to have a hole in the middle. The one I picked up today had a lot of black gunk on it. So maybe it's the same object, and the focus elsewhere in the original picture made it appear unpennylike.

Either way, by cracky, I found a penny today!
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Penny #38 proudly joined his revered brethren, on top of the heap, in my Hick-given goblet.
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14 comments:

  1. Good luck on the pennies, but don't get the postal people angry or they might go...you know.

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    1. I DO know. Because the mail just keeps coming and coming and coming...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL6ubXD9ZjY

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  2. Someone at that post office needs a little motivation treatment, like a smack upside the head or something. Such a lackadaisical attitude just can't be allowed to go on.

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    1. I'm pretty sure that even in Backroads, there's a law against smacking a federal employee upside the head. I can't have Hick lounging around in the Cross-Bars Hilton. Our retirement togetherness just started!

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  3. Val--Aaah. Your neck of the woods is so relaxing, so picturesque, even people from Italy are moving there...

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    1. He might be a generation or two removed. We just call him that to distinguish him from The Nudists. There were only a handful of people living out here when we bought the land, and we didn't know their names, other than what Hick's buddy, Buddy, relayed to us.

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  4. I'm surprised that you didn't make a special trip to go and pick up your penny, you do have photographic evidence and everything.

    Hopefully Hicks letter will finally appear, either that or you can begin collecting orange cards too.

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    1. I will admit that I gave it a brief thought. But my 44 oz Diet Coke at my right elbow persuaded me otherwise.

      I could have a great collection of orange cards, even though the installation of four giant boxes right beside Mailbox Row has cut down on them. Now we get a key in our mailbox instead of an orange card.

      The keys are not big, and they do not have a number. You have to try all four boxes. I got a tongue-lashing from the mail lady a couple weeks ago, because she SAID she put a key in our mailbox days before. I found it shoved all the way to the back. I guess I'll take her word on the timing.

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  5. You have far more interesting encounters at the Post Office than I've ever had.

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    1. You must be too busy traveling the world, being banned from casinos for improper footwear...

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  6. I know, I'm compulsive. But I saved that first picture to my photo program and then blew it way up and I don't think the one you missed is really a penny. There's a chip out of the edge and I think maybe it's a button. Or a discarded piece of pepperoni. Or something. But not a penny. There. Feel better?

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    1. It's hard to tell which of us would take the crown in a battle for the Blogosphere's Top Compulsive Champion.

      I DO feel better. But not specifically due to your analysis. Oh, it contributes to my betterdom, and I thank you for your sleuthing. Even Steven will find a way to reward you. But there's more to the story. I'll post an update.

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  7. Just found a Golf Digest in our mail box, and my mister does not chase little white balls. The man three streets behind us is probably missing it. I put it in the mailbox with flag up. We'll see. I'd be P.O.ed if they couldn't find my orange card info.

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    1. When I don't know the intended recipient, I drive the extra mail to town and put it in the drive-thru mailbox so the post office can do their job twice. Hopefully RIGHT the second time. I imagine some people just throw it away.

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