Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #76 "Uncle Tom's Nabbin'"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. This week, Val takes a look at the tasty seamy underbelly of the meat-processing world. A world where even mythical creatures are not safe from man's voracious appetites. If you hunger for a canned tale of betrayal over meat byproducts, Val's latest fake book might temp you into developing a taste for her fake library.

"Uncle Tom's Nabbin'"

Tom Foolery grew up in a holler near the Mason-Dixon line. Beef, pork, and poultry raised on his daddy's farm was plentiful, but strapping teenage Tom had a hankerin' for SPAM. Or TREET. His daddy told him that the hunting of wild SPAM and TREET had been outlawed because of the demand for their meat. So Tom made his own version, nabbing wild unicorns from the herd running free in the holler.

Now Tom is in hot water with PETA, the USDA, the BBB, and the EPA. He needs to allow a tour of his processing plant PDQ. Tom is afraid it's all a ploy by the French horsemeat distributor who recently set up shop down the road. An effort to horn in on his monopoly. Does it behoove Tom to take a stab at his naysayers? Or should he put his dream out to pasture? (146 words)

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Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

The Abominable Snowman..."Thevictorian's writing is an abomination. I have traveled to the end of the top of the earth to distance myself from her fake book."

Kilroy..."I was here. This fake book shouldn't be."

No See Ums..."Thevictorian's fake book really bites."

A thing going 'bump' in the night..."The true horror of this woman's fake writing cannot be measured by worldly instruments. It's more of a gut feeling, telling one that Thevictorian is not quite right. Her fake books have caused more sleepless nights than ME!"

Vlad Dracula, looking in mirror..."I feel that Thevictorian's fake writing reflects poorly on her talents. Her efforts are anemic at best."

Disappearing ink used by spies..."If only Thevictorian had written her fake book with ME!"

Leprechaun..."I know ONE thing you won't find at the end of the rainbow: Thevictorian's fake book!"

Nessie..."Thevictorian can take a jump in the loch! Who knew that her fake writing would sink to such depths? I'd be shocked if she ever shows her face around these parts again."

Easter Bunny..."I find Thevictorian's fake writing to be hollow. Nobody should egg her on. I don't carrot all if she ever fake-publishes another fake book. You won't hear a PEEP out of me, promoting this junk! I'd be a basket case if I had woven such a fluffy tale, bereft of any redeeming qualities. Her fake writing leaves a cavity in my soul. Thevictorian is a cad--bury her sickeningly sweet treacle on the bottom of the bargain books bin!"