Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Hick Attempts to Frame My Best Ol' Ex-Teaching Buddy, Mabel

Hick is up to his old shenanigans again. This time, he has involved my best ol' ex-teaching buddy Mabel. Last week, Hick and I had lunch with Mabel and her husband, and followed that up with a visit to Mabel's palace near the Missouri/Illinois border. During Hick's grand tour, Mabel mentioned that she's in the market for frames. Specifically, gold picture frames. Fancy. Metal or plastic or wood. Makes her no nevermind. It's the gold in them thar frills that interests her. And furthermore, Mabel declared that size doesn't matter.

I think Mabel might be suffering from just-missed-it jitters. She saw a picture frame perfect for her needs, and was prepared to pay a princely sum of $30 for it, but when she went to make her move, the object of her desire was already in the loving embrace of another. Hick revealed that he sees frames like this all the time at Goodwill, and the auction. So an unofficial unpaid contract, unwritten and unsigned, was entered into between Mabel and Hick.

Saturday night at the auction, Hick bought a gold frame for Mabel. He texted me a picture. Then Sunday morning, he bought another one at Goodwill. I told him to text me a picture of that one, too, and the dimensions of both, so I could text them to Mabel while I was in town. Forget about trying to do it from home, because my cell phone reception is pitiful. I need 4 Gs to send my data in a timely manner.

As blog buddy Joe H knows, men have different thought processes than women. Here is what I got from Hick.

"Got Mabel a frame. $4.00."

"She will like that bargain."

"I got Mabel another frame. $2.50."

"Okay. Are you going to send a picture? And dimensions?"




"Two frames with rule."

"Can't tell dimensions except I see 18 on one side if I enlarge it. Can't you just tell me? Looks like two pictures of the same frame to me."

"14 x 19 and the last picture shows both frames."

"Both are 14 x 19?"

"The big one is 14 x 19."

"Don't understand. Never mind. Too hard."

Let the record show that I was walking through Walmart at the time, trying to pull my walker/cart over each time so as not to be annihilated by beeper carts while texting. It was obvious that Hick was not picking up what I was laying down.

"Ok sorry the little one is about 10 x 16."


"The other one didn't send."

See? I had no idea that Hick had put one frame inside the other. I still couldn't read that tape measure, even enlarging the picture on my phone. All he had to do was send a picture of each frame, with the dimensions.

I guess that's too complicated in man methods.


11 comments:

  1. I think maybe there is a woman's thought process, a man's thought process, and apparently a Hick's thought process.

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    1. I think maybe you are correct, sir!

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  2. There's something wrong with people who buy frames on the che-----never mind!

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    1. Heh, heh! Hick didn't even try to talk them down! AND one of the frames had a painting in it. Maybe I can get a better picture of it and tell that story next week.

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  3. There is no end to Hick's talents, 6.50 for two gold frames of an undisclosed size...as generous as he is I bet he doesn't even make a profit on them.

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    1. Hick is not seeking a profit, though knowing Mabel, she would not object to making it worth Hick's while to keep him on retainer as her frame shopper.

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  4. I saw the two frames together right away, probably because that's how I pack frames when I'm putting them away, sometimes with the picture still in them, only then the smaller frame is usually face down on the larger one with a teatowel between to protect the glass.
    Those are two lovely frames for such a small amount of money. And now I have an idea for my blank wall space in my bedroom.

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    1. It took me several hours and numerous viewings of those pictures, and I still only accidentally noticed that one frame was inside the other.

      I didn't figure out the truck bed, either, until the last picture. I thought the black corrugated plastic liner was something inside the frame. I wondered who would frame prison bars for art!

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  5. Don't you know that with men, three inches equals a foot?

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    1. That's how they were taught, anyway!!

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    2. I guess that means they think a mile is 21,120 feet. (A mathy kind of joke for Mabel.)

      Or give them an inch, and they'll take 3 miles.

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