Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #78 "Do You Know the Mitten Cat?"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. This week, Val rides prowls the crime-ridden streets with a hardened career law officer. He's a bit down on his luck at the moment. Kind of like Val's fake book sales for the past 77 weeks. All it takes is one blockbuster, though! Won't you help Val make a fake comeback, and pre-order your fake copy today?

"Do You Know the Mitten Cat?"

Tiger Magnum Rockford is having a bad day. Kicked off the police force for his ninth indiscretion fueled by his love for catnip, he's trying his paw at private investigating. No longer able to the make payments on his Jaguar, buy a used Mercury Cougar, or even lease a Lynx...Tiger must claw his way across town on public transportation.

Three little kittens claim that somebody stole their mittens. Their mother smells a rat. Tiger is off to question possible witnesses. No pussy-footing around! Tiger is hoping to frame a culprit and get a kickback from the three little kittens. Or prove they're guilty of self-theft, and collect his fee and a piece of pie from their mother. Will Tiger M.R. pounce on this opportunity, and land on his feet again? (130 words)

__________________________________________________________________

Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

Grumpy Cat..."I may not show it, but I take great delight in reviewing this fake book. I don't even have to change my expression to reveal my opinion."

Cast of the Broadway show CATS, in unison, impersonating Carnac the Magnificent..."Memory. What you wish you didn't have after reading Thevictorian's fake book."

Meow Mix Singing Cats..."This fake book struck a chord with us. Much like our commercial lyrics, Thevictorian's fake writing is repetitive and annoying."

Fancy Feast..."If this fake book was a cat food, its name would not be nearly as regal as mine. In keeping with its ingredients, and the care that Thevictorian put into creating it...the brand would be most accurately be named Slop Bucket."

Morris, the 9 Lives spokesman..."I might be finicky, but even a common alley cat would recognize that Thevictorian's writing is something that should be buried in a cat box.

Litter Box..."NO! Even I cannot stomach Thevictorian's writing!"

Kitty Carlisle on What's My Line..."By the way you have answered our questions, I have only one question left for you: 'Val, are you a simpleton?' Oh, wait! I have another: 'Cat got your tongue?' I WISH it would get your fingers!'"

Gunsmoke's Miss Kitty..."I've a good mind to tell Marshal Dillon to lock Thevictorian up and throw away the key for exposing us to this fake book. There's no danger that she'll ever be mistaken for a working girl. That's for sure. Not even Festus would call what Thevictorian does work. If hoping to be considered a good fake writer one day, she doesn't have a leg to stand on." 

Ball of twine..."I am less convoluted than one of Thevictorian's fake tales!"

Crosstown City Bus..."I can hardly make it from one stop to the next, due to so many people throwing Thevictorian under me. Her fake writing career stretches ahead of her like 50 miles of bad road."