Friday, March 4, 2016

Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday #4

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to entice you to buy my fake book. If you like to live in the fake past, this week's fake book is for you! Think of it as Snidely Whiplash in cahoots with a hipster doofus. There. You're dying to get your fake hands on it already, aren't you? Send that fake cash my way. I take coins, bills, PayPal, magic beans, and chicken (gas station or the real live peckers). Heh, heh. We won't mention what I just said.





Railway to Not-Heaven
 

Sal Thethicktorian rides the rails, headed for a weekend in The Hamptons. Her last vacation, a trek in the Pyrenees, left a bad taste in her mouth. Like stale wine. This holiday will be different. Her pals promise.

Kosmer Kramo, a friend of her buddy Gerry Fineseld, is getting his conductor’s license. Poor vision be darned! The glasses he picked up at the going-out-of-business movie theater were a godsend. He brought snacks for the trip, too! Sal unwraps a hot dog from the now-defunct concessions warmer. Yum! Those JujyFruits will have to wait.

THUMP! Sal is jolted out of her comfort zone. These tracks sure need repair! She could swear Kosmer is headed in the wrong direction. He keeps making all the stops, and that last station looked like it bore the name Cabool…

When will Sal realize that she’s on a railway to not-heaven? (149 words)

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Fake Reviews For My Fake Book

Humpty Dumpty with a Melon Head: "Forget about READING it. This book is so good, I would violate confidentiality at a video store to find out who currently has the movie, and foist myself on that family to enjoy it on the end of a white couch with grape juice and a bowl of nuts."

Horse Face, Big Teeth, and Flared Nostrils: "A great read. I'm tempted to keep it under my gym locker for 20 years."

Face Like a Frying Pan, Big Wall of Hair: "I tried to get Pendant Publishing into a bidding war for this manuscript. But then I forgot it in Gerry's apartment, and the flea bomb prevented me from retrieving it."

Ben the Family Doctor: "It's breathtaking."



8 comments:

  1. Oh everyone is thinking Cabool. And writers this week are so creative in naming the characters! Nope, not the train to heaven unless you are a native of southern Missouri I guess. We used to pass through Cabool going to Cape to see our son in college. The road is better now but still a lonely stretch. I used to hate that highway and felt, well fearful along that lonely stretch of highway. I do love the name Cabool though. Your fake books is inviting!

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    1. I read Sioux's version first, and saw Cabool, which was a surprise because I used to work in that area. I was shocked by the big tarantulas that used to run across the two-lane highway. I would see them at dusk. I had to ask the kids what they were. Creepy.

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  2. Can I buy a copy of this with Bitcoins? I guess I'd better find out what those are.

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    1. Depends. Are they REAL Bitcoins, or FAKE Bitcoins?

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  3. This was a Seinfeld bonanza! Thanks for playing, Val.

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    1. I only regret that there were not enough words for the Chinese chewing gum.

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  4. I love the names of the characters!! The names reeled me in!

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    1. Well...I had a good source of inspiration!

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