Let the rhyming begin!
and Other Poems Concerning Disgruntled Sports Fans
Once upon a lunchtime boring, eating foods that were deploring
Sal Thethicktorian had a craving for a delicacy available no more.
As she plodded, nearly tripping, suddenly she spied a clipping
Advertising some new flipping poultry dish she might adore.
"Might be chicken-like," she muttered, skipping, to check out her favorite store
A Diet Coke, awaiting pour.
Ah distinctly Sal remembers, it was in the hot September
And the Cardinals were about to usher pennant hopes right out the door.
Lowlights on a moving billboard, reminding fans that they had not scored
In 270 innings struck a deep chord, a chord that had not chimed before.
Such a losing season Cardinal Nation did abhor.
The last straw and nothing more…
Would Sal notice that her new gas station treat had decidedly larger pieces than her favored chicken? Or that some chunks were not recognizable as leg, breast, wing, or thigh? (150 words)_____________________________________________________________________
Fake Reviews For Val’s Fake Book
Mike Matheny…”Hated it!”
Lady Owner, Gas Station Chicken Store…”This book borders on slander. I shall see to it that you are never allowed to sink your teeth into another breast in my establishment! To insinuate that we are deep-frying 'baseball players' (and I use that term loosely) is a chicken-sh*t thing to do. I’ve a good mind to get a restraining order against you!”
Casey, at the bat…”There is no joy in this book.”
Yogi Berra…”When you come to this book in the road, don’t take it. It’s over before it’s over.”
Rockford Peaches manager Jimmy Dugan…”There’s no crying in baseball, unless you’re forced to read this book.”
Maya Angelou, spinning at 23,000 revolutions per second in her grave..."Make it stop!"
Edgar Allan Poe..."Let the record show that I would like to change my last words to: This book sucks! What was Val doing when she wrote this cask of bullcrapado, hitting the bottle, or smoking opium?"