Those flower stamps look like the
print on a dress my 80-year-old grandma might have worn to church with her
L’eggs knee-high suntan hosiery pressing the inch-long dark hairs to her legs. Using them makes me feel like I smell of sachet, or like I need to drench myself with
a cloyingly sweet heavy floral scent like all my grandmas and mom wore. Like I
need to drape a shawl around my shoulders and start tatting a delicate doily to
set under my vase of chrysanthemums on the cherry wood table in the foyer. Like
I should drive a white Ford Galaxy 500 down the middle of the road at 20 mph.
That P.O. dude did not even ask what
kind of stamps I wanted. Why do they even have those sample books under
Plexiglas? It’s like that time I was buying stamps to put on thank you cards
after Mom’s funeral, and the P. O. gal tried to give me the black ones with
fireworks that said CELEBRATE.
That P.O. dude flung those flowering stamps at me like a
short-order cook in a diner slinging hash. Like he would not take NO for an
answer. Further investigation revealed that those bloomin' stamps are called Botanical Art, and...
The U.S. Postal Service continues its tradition of beautiful floral-themed stamps by dedicating the Botanical Art Forever stamps featuring vintage illustrations taken from 19th- and early 20th-century plant and seed catalogs.
The U.S. Postal Service continues its tradition of beautiful floral-themed stamps by dedicating the Botanical Art Forever stamps featuring vintage illustrations taken from 19th- and early 20th-century plant and seed catalogs.
No offense to the artist(s). I’m sure a
lot of time and effort and went into these flowers. But they are
not my cup of tea.
I use them to pay bills. I’d sooner
have dandelions on my stamps.
THey are nicer at our Post Office, the ask.
ReplyDeleteI swear, you must live in some Shangri-La, where the turnpikes flow with milk and honey, unicorns frolic in the backyards, and Post Office staff and the DMV are courteous and helpful.
DeleteJust wait 'til you have to stamp your envelopes with portraits of the new President. (Pick your poison.)
ReplyDeleteWell, since Reagan was the last President on a postage stamp, I don't think there's any urgency to start fretting.
DeleteA couple of years ago, I went to two different post offices to get Jimi Hendrix stamps.
ReplyDeleteYa gotta get all "stamp" at the post office.
Uh huh. But you didn't go to two different post offices to get Floral Art stamps. BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO! Because nobody wants them.
DeleteYou're gonna end up in the hoosegow, Madam, if you don't watch your P.s and O.s. For P.O. For Post Office! Get it? I crack myself up sometimes.
When I pay bills I'd prefer the stamps to feature poison ivy.
ReplyDeleteYou can make your own, you know. Just put on those Floral Art stamps, and rub your thumb over some poison ivy, and then over the stamps! It's all in the oil.
DeleteOh. Wait. Were you being facetious? Never mind...
I honestly don't give a rat's wotsit what's on my stamp as long as it gets my letter where it's supposed to go. Just a 1 for first class and a 2 for second class would do me.
ReplyDeleteWell then. You are single-handedly putting artists out of work. Artists gotta art! Don't deny them a shot at a stamp. You can always complain about them later.
DeleteToo many choices for something that will be tossed with the envelope as soon as the contents are released. Or, in my case, added to the compost heap.
ReplyDeleteWAIT! You mean the people who open the bill payment envelopes don't admire the stamps, and attribute deep meaning to the subject matter selection of the payer?
DeleteGasp! What if a MACHINE opens the envelope?
They foisted fruity scenes off on me. From now on it's basic flags.
ReplyDeleteI guess you need to make Sioux accompany you to the post office. She'll get you Jimi Hendrix!
Delete