Railway to Not-Heaven
Sal Thethicktorian rides the rails, headed for a weekend in The Hamptons. Her last vacation, a trek in the Pyrenees, left a bad taste in her mouth. Like stale wine. This holiday will be different. Her pals promise.
Kosmer Kramo, a friend of her buddy Gerry Fineseld, is getting his conductor’s license. Poor vision be darned! The glasses he picked up at the going-out-of-business movie theater were a godsend. He brought snacks for the trip, too! Sal unwraps a hot dog from the now-defunct concessions warmer. Yum! Those JujyFruits will have to wait.
THUMP! Sal is jolted out of her comfort zone. These tracks sure need repair! She could swear Kosmer is headed in the wrong direction. He keeps making all the stops, and that last station looked like it bore the name Cabool…
When will Sal realize that she’s on a railway to not-heaven? (149 words)
Fake Reviews For My Fake Book
Humpty Dumpty with a Melon Head: "Forget about READING it. This book is so good, I would violate confidentiality at a video store to find out who currently has the movie, and foist myself on that family to enjoy it on the end of a white couch with grape juice and a bowl of nuts."
Horse Face, Big Teeth, and Flared Nostrils: "A great read. I'm tempted to keep it under my gym locker for 20 years."
Face Like a Frying Pan, Big Wall of Hair: "I tried to get Pendant Publishing into a bidding war for this manuscript. But then I forgot it in Gerry's apartment, and the flea bomb prevented me from retrieving it."
Ben the Family Doctor: "It's breathtaking."