Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday #6

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to entice you to buy my fake book. OH! Let me show you the shiny pocket watch The Pony got for Christmas two years ago. Here. I'll hold it steady so you can get a good look. Whoopsie! I'm just shaky, I guess. Maybe it's the palsy. Val ain't gettin' any younger, you know. Sooo...getting back to my fake book...If I fake-write it, you will fake-buy! Uh huh. You're getting the urge, aren't you. Keep watching that shiny timepiece. You are feeling veeeerrrry buyish...

OUTTRICK...OUTBLUFF...OUTACT

Sal Thethictorian has a mystery on her hands. Rupert Rudy Rich, a contestant on the reality game show, Surviving, has disappeared. No body. No trail. No circle of carrion-eaters flying above the tropical island. Much to the chagrin of his tribe, who would love to sink their teeth into a carrion-eater. Or Rupert Rudy Rich. None of the competitors are talking.

Outside-the-box-thinker Sal arranges a private interrogation of RRR's closest ally, Jersey Joe. For a clandestine Stella D'oro (or 12), JJ reveals that RRR showed him an immunity idol found in a burial ground near camp. It was bigger than previous idols. In fact, RRR could barely stand when he hung it from a vine around his neck.

Was RRR pulled under on a midnight swim? Did a tribemate steal it and bury RRR's remains? What were those bones the tribe was sucking marrow from? (145 words)

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Fake Reviews For Val’s Fake Book

Mother Teresa…”I wouldn’t touch Val Thevictorian with a ten-foot fake pole! I hope she doesn’t make a fake penny off this fake fiction, and dies alone and destitute.”

Jesus H. Christ…”Val T. Victorian! This is the worst fake book I ever fake-read! Changing water into wine was a breeze compared to trying to make this fake book fake readable.”

Dalai Lama…”This fake book made me so angry that I wanted to bash Val Thevictorian’s head in!

Dante…”There is nothing divine about this fake book. In retrospect, I should have created a tenth level of not-heaven, just for this fake author.”

Mohandas ‘The Mahatma’ Gandhi…”This fake book makes me want to wage war against the idiot who fake-published it!”

Carrie Nation…”This fake book was so despicable that it made me lay down my hatchet and belt back a stiff drink.”