Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Winging It (NOT!)

Yes, I knew the week was off to a bad start with my cutting-the-cheese faux pas on Sunday.

Then on Monday, I had a very busy day at school, what with duty before and after, and getting my room ready for a sub Tuesday, and taking The Pony to an appointment at 5:00, knowing we would not be home until 7:00.

I was really tired, and the temperature was in the low 20s. While I waited in T-Hoe for The Pony to emerge, I covered myself with my parking-lot-duty coat. It's SO warm. Purple with quilted tiny squares. With a hood lined with really soft gray stuff. I put it over me, the hood material by my chin. So toasty, what with the heated leather seats still emanating warmth like coals beneath my butt. BUT I WAS AFRAID TO FALL ASLEEP! What if two young policemen came and tapped on my window, and took my license with that really REALLY bad picture of me, and then asked me to step out of T-Hoe into the freezing cold? I admit that I surreptitiously stole about two winks while the snow showers swirled in the dusk and the radio played some Gordon Lightfoot on the Sirius XM 70s station. Every highway seems to slip away on you...

Lucky for me, I didn't have to cook supper. The Pony wanted to drive through Rally's, which is made for driving through. I was planning on some delectable chicken wings left over from Hick's Super Bowl snacks. And Hick had the Li'l Smokies in BBQ sauce left over, and who knows what else he'd put away after his feast.

Dang! The Pony seemed to be taking longer than usual. I really had to pee. Never mind that I went right before we left school. We'd already been to the post office to mail Genius's Valentine, and to a convenience store for gas, and to the bank for the weekly cash allowance for Hick, because it was on the way. There's a bathroom in the hallway of the office where The Pony goes. Not goes to the bathroom! Goes for his appointment. But he said the waiting area has been crowded with little kids lately. I was not going in there to wade through unchecked pre-tweens.

At last The Pony came out, taking his own sweet time texting across the parking lot. Then we hit Rally's for a cheeseburger and a funnel cake. They don't have a public restroom, you know. So I headed for Sonic. Not to buy anything. Just to use their outside bathroom. I've spent many a penny on their outrageously-priced Route 44's over the years. They owe me a pee, in my opinion. I parked at the end, and found their women's room pleasantly warm, with a little heater in the wall. The people in the black pickup truck silently judging me didn't even matter.

We made it home through the showering snow by 7:00. The Pony was sated. I rummaged around in Frig II looking for those wings. Hmph! Not a wing to be found! I asked Hick if he'd seen them. Oh. He ate them all ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY! Hick ate ten wings. Not that ten wings is a Takeru-Kobayashi-size training meal. But Hick had all that other food on Super Bowl night! The Li'l Smokies, and pepper-and-garlic steak fries (half of a half of a bag), Ruffles and Hidden Valley Ranch dip, restaurant-style tortilla chips and queso dip, sugar-free sugar cookies, and sugar-free oatmeal cookies. They were the BIG wings, too. The Tyson Anytizer bone-in wings. Big strong wings, from chickens that might have been part pterodactyl, chickens able to fly like transport planes carrying heavy equipment, over the ocean.

Sigh.

Just what I wanted to do, make my own meal when I got home at 7:00 p.m. I set to work on some super nachos. Let the record show that it took 20 minutes. Maybe 30. Because Hick wanted to chat while sitting in his La-Z-Boy with me in the kitchen cutting up Saturday's leftover boneless skinless chicken breast for nacho topping.

Yeah. Wait until you hear about Tuesday.

14 comments:

  1. Val--That sentence about the "big strong wings" was hilarious, and so well-crafted.

    I laughed. And I don't usually laugh over written words.

    I can't wait to hear about Tuesday. I hope it's how you're offering to send your city friend your U of I to plagarize and cut and paste to her heart's content. (I don't care if it IS a high school science thing... No one reads those things anyway.)

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    1. Thank you. I will put in a good word for you down at the Sentence Construction Union Hall. Perhaps you can get an apprenticeship...

      My U of I languishes on my desk (and online), a testament to the busywork that results when the government interferes with the public school system.

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  2. Replies
    1. You're so kind! Which rewards you with my recipe. Easy as pie. EASIER than making a pie!

      Lay down about 10 restaurant style tortilla chips to cover the bottom of a plate. Sprinkle on about half a bag of shredded lettuce. Drizzle four heated-up tablespoons of a jar of queso dip, or nacho cheese. Add some shredded chicken. Spoon on 4 tablespoons of salsa. Sprinkle on half a 2.25 oz can of rinsed and drained black olive slices. VOILA! A tasty meal of super nachos!

      You can add grated sharp cheddar if you want a more substantial meal, and dollop on some sour cream if you desire. Bon appetit!

      Let the record show that this dish is quite messy, and you may not want to eat it within sight of other humans.

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  3. Good thing the rookie cops didn't catch you doing a pee for free at Sonic.

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    1. I am not as suspicious-looking as Hick, apparently.

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  4. How could there NOT be leftovers with that amount of food?? You've just reminded me though that SD brought me home a white chocolate and raspberry cookie yesterday and it's just sitting there waiting for me.

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    1. YOU tell ME! Hick did have a few Li'l Smokies left, and some of each kind of cookie. But I wanted WINGS!

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    2. You need to hide some under a towel.

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    3. Thank you for divulging your enemy's secrets!

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  5. You're on a run of rotten luck. At least you didn't get arrested for taking a pee in public.

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    1. Oh, there's more of it coming 'round the bend. I have grown used to the pee-and-dash after 28 years of teaching.

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  6. OMG! I don't know if I can hack Tuesday. (Note: I said hack, not Hick.)

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    1. Oh, dear. You are in for a bumpy ride through Val's week! You'd best get to hackin'. Let the record show that I said hackin'. Not Hickin'.

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