Here’s the reason that public universities need your donations:
Yeah. Thursday I took the mail out of EmBee, and thought, “Oh. The Pony will be excited. He got a letter from the University of Oklahoma.” He got a handwritten postcard from them after his campus visit. Since he was at an academic competition Thursday evening, I left that letter in the stack of mail on the kitchen counter. As I went through it later for bills, I noticed that the OU letter was addressed to The Parents of Pony Thevictorian. Huh.
I picked it up to open it, and noticed how light it was. Maybe a note about hoping Hick enjoyed his recent visit. Maybe a reminder than some forms had yet to be filed concerning The Pony’s admission. I ripped open the envelope with my stubby fingers, disregarding the fact that just below my waist was a drawer containing a plethora of knives that could act as letter-openers.
“Well don’t that beat all!” as my old college roommate Bean used to say. Actually, she changed the last word, but Val is a refined lady now, a shadow of her college rabble-rousin’ self, and will not go there. “There’s NOTHING in that envelope!” I held it up to the light. I turned it over. I scooped my fingers all around inside. Nothing. The Pony’s prospective college had sent us an empty envelope. It only cost 16 cents. But still. That’s a WASTED 16 cents. No need to send us some fresh Oklahoma air for The Pony to snort. And how in tarnation is a college NON-PROFIT?
The Pony has a recruiter, and I have suggested that he take a picture of that envelope, showing the return address, so the recruiter has some idea of what was sent out lately.
Yeah. Maybe now you can understand my reluctance to donate to public universities. Val Thevictorian wasn’t born yesterday. She ain’t payin’ for air from another state, no matter how much the university wants her Pony to attend!