Sunday, February 14, 2016

The Best-Laid Plans of a Rat Like Val Often Go Awry

Val Thevictorian is a snow-day millionaire. Or at least a snow-day fiveaire. Thursday was the fifth snow day of the year for Backroadsia High, after being sent home at 12:30 on Wednesday. That’s not part of the total, because IT COUNTED! That one won’t have to be made up.

The Pony and I expected to go to school Friday. I had made a trip to town at noon Thursday, and the roads were completely clear, as well as most fields and yards and parking lots. The lying clowns TV meteorologists mentioned some snow showers moving through late Thursday night, but we were in the clear section of their simulated clipper. So we planned a normal day.

At 12:30, as I went to bed, I noticed that the front yard was white. I opened the door. We had an inch or more of fresh snow on the ground! And more was pouring down as I patted my sweet, sweet Juno, who was standing vigil on the front porch. Well. That was more snow than we had the day they sent us home early, and kept us home the next day, too. With a light heart I went to bed. Looked like another snow day for Val!

Hick got up around 2:00 a.m. and looked outside. “Have you seen the yard?”

“Yes. Looks like we won’t be going again.”

“Yeah. That’s more than we had last time.”

Hick was no doubt considering calling in sick to stay home and keep us company. I made a mental note-to-self to put the kibosh on that plan once we were both up. Retirement hasn’t started yet, you know.

At my regular get-up time, I got up and went in the bathroom. As I came out, Hick asked through his breather, “Are you going?”

“How would I know? How am I going to find out sitting on the toilet?” That man is ridiculous sometimes.

I went to the kitchen and checked my phone. No message yet. But it WAS only 4:50 a.m. The earliest I’ve gotten the message is 5:11. So I decided not to waste time packing lunches, but to go straight to the shower, so I would be up and ready to start my day off. Do some writing. Work on taxes. Try to get into Genius’s FAFSA to update it before March 1. I told Hick, “The house phone will ring when they send out the call. You don’t have to get up and answer. It’s a recording.”

When I got out of the shower, I still had no message. I figured the school administrators must have been caught off guard as well, and must be out driving the roads before making the decision to call off school. Also, they sometimes seem to play chicken, waiting to see who will call off first. I grabbed the house phone to settle down in the La-Z-Boy. No need for the automated call to wake The Pony.

The lying clowns TV meteorologists did not seem in a hurry to mention school closings. There was no scroll across the bottom of the screen. Still, it was not yet 5:30. Way early. I watched some news. At 5:33, one of the anchors mentioned that Kent would be on with the forecast and the school closings. HUH? I had just hit the remote to change channels. But I went back. Kent did not mention anything about school closings. We don’t report on that channel anyway. No need to worry.

I switched to our channel. Nothing. On to another main station. WHAT? Their clown meteorologist named off three schools that were closed. A small one near Backroadsia High, and two in our conference closer to the homestead. Not even a bottom scroll! What’s up with that? It was already 5:45. Getting a little late to be calling off. But we’d had the call before at 6:45, after I had already left for school…

Great. I couldn’t take a chance. The Pony needed to get up at 6:00. And I still had lunches to make!

Let the record show that we had school on Friday. And that the roads were TERRIBLE on my way there.

9 comments:

  1. The schools always seem to tighten up on their closing standards when those snow days start to pile up.

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    1. That is very true. All it takes is a couple of flakes for the first one. Towards the end of winter, we're following a snowplow through 10-foot drifts.

      I guess maybe I was greedy last year, wishing for the 22nd snow day...

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  2. Here in Portland the schools close if there's more than a handful of snowflakes on the road. It's a joke.

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    1. Gotta pamper those future hipsters!

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  3. You have already had more than your share. I've only had one. I need to catch up before you have any more...

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    1. Heh, heh! I accumulate snow days like Linda accumulates Chicken Soup publishing credits. Good luck catching me!

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  4. The bahstids don't want any more make-up days in the schedule.

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    1. Those make-up days don't make me no nevermind. I'm outta there for good once they're over. I can handle a short delay.

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    2. I see by your accent you're from the east coast tonight...

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