My birthday was last week, and The Pony's was four days later. On my birthday itself, Genius sent a text.
"Happy Birthday! I am about to mail your card, and The Pony's. I got my Valentine's package last night."
"Thank you. I didn't know how long your package would take."
"Don't think I didn't notice that my Conversation Hearts came in a pack of five, but you took two away!"
"Or, if you look at it through your eagle-blue eyes rather than your green-with-jealousy eyes, I gave my beloved son Genius three, and my also-loved son The Pony two."
"Lol. The jerky and Dove are my favorite two."
"Furthermore, I bought the jerky for your dad, but saw it as I was packing your package, and decided you were more deserving."
Let the record show that I bought more jerky for Hick, and that The Pony did not make one comment about only having two boxes of Tart Conversation Hearts. It's not like he's going to use them to start conversations, you know.
It's not like Genius was missing out on his sugar allotment for the next six months. His package included a Russell Stover heart full of chocolates, a Dove heart full of chocolates, three boxes of Tart Conversation Hearts, a bag of Teriyaki Beef Jerky, and half a bag of assorted Baby Ruth/Butterfinger/Crunch mini candy bars.
I can't believe he accused me of holding out on the Tart Hearts!